After Dawn
by shannyforever
Summary: When Nikki's life seems to be falling apart after the death of her closest friend and confidant, it is the beautiful Helen Stewart that shows up and makes her life worthwhile again. AU Summary is somewhat vague, but have a read. I have been working on this story for a very long time, and would love some constructive and critical feedback (bad and good). Rating - eventually M
1. Chapter 1

**After the death of her closest friend, Nikki is faced with a life of loneliness. That is, until she meets a beautiful woman called Helen, the daughter of her deceased friend. AU**

**Chapter 1**

It wasn't the kind of day Nikki expected to greet her when she woke from her restless slumber. The sun shone through the open blinds of her lounge room, making her feel a kind of warmth she couldn't really enjoy on such a cold day.

She rose from the couch and staggered into the kitchen, flicking the switch for the kettle as she retrieved a mug from the cupboard. As she stared out the window, taking in the blue sky, the patches of clouds, and the brightness of the morning sun, she felt a wave of nausea wash over her. Having spent the previous night drowning her sorrows with a bottle of gin, it was now time to face reality and get herself together for the remorseful day ahead; Dawn's funeral.

Nikki had first met Dawn when she was 15. She regularly visited Dawns bookstore, 'Dawns Haven', losing herself in the stories she read as a way to detach herself from her own life. A kind of friendship developed between the librarian and Nikki. One that would become so meaningful, that everything else would take a back seat.  
Nikki sat in her dining room that morning sipping her coffee and let her mind wander back 10 years to the moment that changed her life forever. She had walked into the Dawns Haven with tears streaming down her face.

_****_

_"Nikki darling, what's the matter," Dawn gasped, "You look distraught!"_

_"It's my parents…they found out about… something, and they kicked me out of home," Nikki responded, sniffling and wiping away her tears. _

_"Oh sweet heart, come here," Dawn said, gathering her into her arms and holding the trembling child. "Everything will be ok, I promise."_

_Dawn led Nikki to sit down in a couch at the back of the store and held her until her sobs subsided. She draped her arm around her shoulders and tenderly wiped her tear stained face. _

_"How did they find out?" Dawn asked. _

_"Mum found my diary," Nikki explained. "She said she was looking for some earrings, but I think she was just being nosey."_

_"Are you sure this isn't just going to blow over?" Dawn asked, a touch of hope in her voice._

_"They seemed pretty adamant," Nikki replied with remorse. _

_"Mum said she was disgusted. Dad was just furious…said he wasn't going to let me disgrace the family."_

_Nikki held her face as tears came flowing once again. All Dawn could do was hold her and reassure her that all would be fine. She knew how it was to be an out caste in a family, although she could not imagine having to deal with all the emotions and outcomes at 15. She also had no idea as to what was written in her diary. _

_"What am I going to do Dawn?" Nikki asked, feeling deflated and exhausted from the day's events. "I have no place to go, and no job. I can't live on my own!"_

_"Well then," Dawn began, "there's only one thing you can do."_

_"What's that?" Nikki asked feeling almost defeated. _

_"You'll have to come live with me, and work here at the bookstore," Dawn suggested, although it was more of a demand than a query. _

_"Oh Dawn, I couldn't do that," Nikki argued. "You don't want some kid hanging around, surely."_

_"Don't be silly," Dawn replied, placing her hand on Nikki's shoulder. "You practically live here anyway. And I enjoy your company."_

_Nikki looked into her eyes and saw love, understanding, and most of all, honesty. She looked down into her lap and let a small smile appear. _

_"Thank you," Nikki replied, looking back up to meet her eyes. "You don't know how much that means to me."_

_"Don't mention it love," Dawn replied, standing up. "Now come on, let's go get you settled."_

_Nikki stood and embraced her friend, feeling a kind of love for her that she could not contemplate for her own parents. She knew then that everything really would be ok. _

Nikki wiped the tear that escaped as she stood from her chair and made her way to the kitchen. After placing her mug in the dishwasher, she made her way upstairs to get ready. She was working this morning in the bookstore and was almost running late.

Dawn's funeral was at 3 o'clock, which meant closing the store early for the first time since she'd started working there. It was not something she felt comfortable doing. Dawn and she always tried to make sure that one of them was always there, from the time it opened at 8 o'clock in the morning, until the time it closed at 9 o'clock at night.

_"I don't like to disappoint any of my customers,"_ she used to say. _"What if someone needs us?"_

Dawn loved her bookstore, and all those that visited. Nikki loved watching her face light up when she heard the bell above the door, announcing the arrival of a customer. She was always so kind, and always made them feel welcome. They were like her guests, offering them tea or coffee and biscuits as they sat in the lounges and read.

Everyone loved Dawn. She was a mother figure for everyone. There was not a person to walk through that door that was not touched by the way she looked after them, and listened to them. Dawns Haven was more than a bookstore. It was a place people came to get away, unwind, and generally feel relaxed and at home. This had made Dawns death all the more harder.

All through the week Nikki had customers offering their deepest sympathy. They would come into the store smiling, and leave the store with tearstains on their cheeks. It had been a considerably draining week for Nikki, keeping the store open on her own, and trying to console the customers in grief. She knew that today would be no different.

Nikki stepped out of the shower and stood in front of the mirror. She let her eyes roam over her naked body, taking in the sight of the tall, slim, dark haired women before her. Her naturally tanned skin, her dark brown eyes, her short brown hair…that was all the same. However she had lost weight over the past week, and the baggage under her eyes could not go unnoticed. She missed Dawn. She also worried about what would happen with the bookstore.

Dawn had rarely talked about her family in the beginning. Although over the years, Nikki learnt more and more about her life before Dawns Haven. Their friendship first started to blossom after the night they sat in Dawns lounge in front of the fireplace, and told each other their deepest secrets.

_****_

_"Dawn?" Nikki sighed, throwing her head back in the armchair to look at the ceiling. _

_"Yes dear?" Dawn asked, "What is it?"_

_"Can I ask how old you are?"_

_"I'm 44," she answered, lifting her head from her book and removing her glasses. "Why do you ask?"_

_"No reason, really," Nikki said, shifting her weight in the chair to bring her legs up underneath her. "It's just, well, my parents are you're age, and they're married, and have…well, had me. So I was just wondering why you don't have a family. Or…do you?"_

_Nikki lifted her head and gazed over at Dawn, sitting in an armchair opposite her, cradling a book in her hands. Her face was unmoving, giving nothing away. _

_"I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry," Nikki began, feeling bad for bringing the subject up. "I was just thinking about my family, and how they kicked me out."_

_Nikki placed her head back in the chair again, her eyes glazed over with tears that threatened to fall. She wanted to confide in Dawn, but was unsure how she would react to what she wanted to say. _

_"Nikki dear, are you alright?" Dawn queried with concern for her young companion._

_Nikki didn't answer. Silence hung in the air as Dawn waited patiently for Nikki to open up to here, and Nikki contemplated how much she should tell Dawn. When the silence became too much, Nikki decided it was now or never, and that if she could trust anyone, it would be Dawn. _

_"I'm gay," Nikki whispered facing the ceiling, and tears began to stream down her cheeks. _

_"That's why they kicked you out," Dawn thought out loud, finally understanding. _

_"Do you hate me?" Nikki whimpered, holding back from sobbing with the hope that Dawn wouldn't disown her._

"I don't hate you," Dawn gasped. "In fact, I'm proud of you."

Nikki lifted her head to look at Dawn. She could not hide the surprise on her face, and Dawn took it upon herself to answer her unvoiced question. 

_"You are not ashamed of who you are, and you told me, even though I know you were unsure of how I would react," Dawn continued. "Did you think I would leave you too?"_

_Dawn watched as Nikki bowed her head and nodded, almost looking ashamed that she thought Dawn would not react well. _

_"Nikki, since you confided in me, I suppose there is something I should tell you," Dawn confessed. _

_"What's that?" Nikki asked, looking back at her expectantly. _

_"I'm a lesbian."_

__Nikki recalled the comfort Dawns confession generated, and how close they became over the years since having that conversation. With one last glance in the mirror, Nikki took a deep breath and continued to get ready for work.

After getting dressed and playing with her hair, Nikki picked up her bag and headed to the door, noticing along the way that her home was becoming quite a state. She'd had little to no energy in the passing weeks, and housework was the last thing on her mind. She decided that like it or not, she would get stuck into it the following day, before pulling the front door shut and heading to Dawns Haven.

As expected, the day was filled with people offering their sympathy, and asking when the funeral would be. Nikki knew that there would be many familiar faces at Dawns funeral that afternoon. Many customers had informed her how much Dawn had meant to them, and assured her that they would be attending the funeral.

The day went by rather quickly. There weren't many people in the store, and those who were, were too distraught to stay long. Come 2.00pm, Nikki was ready to leave, and as politely as she could announced that the store would be closing until the following morning, before leaving the store and making her way to the burial ground.

As she drove along the quiet streets, her mind began to wonder if any of Dawns family would be attending the funeral. As far as Nikki knew, Dawn had lost contact with her family not long before they met. Nikki smiled sadly as she recalled the conversation she had with Dawn about her only daughter.

_****_

_"You know, my daughter is about your age," Dawn suddenly admitted. "Although, I haven't seen her for a while now. Probably forgotten all about me if her father has anything to do with it."_

_Dawn's confession took Nikki by surprise. She was in the kitchen making pancakes, Dawn sitting at the dining room table watching. _

_"I'm sure that's not true," Nikki replied. "If you were my mother, I'd never forget you."_

_Dawn became a little tearful from Nikki's kind words. She had often thought about her daughter, what she was like, where she was going in life. Living with Nikki this past year had made her realize just how much she missed her family._

_"What was her name?" Nikki asked, breaking the silence. _

_"Helen," Dawn replied simply._

_Nikki continued with the pancakes while Dawn sat, reminiscing. Nikki wanted to know all about her family. It had taken a while, but eventually Nikki had opened up to Dawn, and told her her most inner thoughts. It had hurt that Dawn had not shared her own thoughts back, but she understood that there was something painful about her past, and that she needed to give her time._

_After cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, Nikki went and sat opposite Dawn, placing the pancakes on the table. _

_"Do you want to talk about it?" Nikki finally asked._

_Nikki saw Dawn knot her brow, the pain she was going through clear on her face. Just when Nikki thought there was not going to be any reply, Dawn started to speak. _

_"I was married to a man of God Nikki," Dawn began, looking into blankly into the kitchen as she recalled her past. "We dated in high school, and married when we were very young. I eventually fell pregnant after trying for years. We had a daughter, Helen. We were a happy family. On the outside, things looked almost perfect. But things started to change. I began to find myself attracted to women. I knew it was wrong. I knew what the church thought about homosexuality, so I kept up the pretense. When Helen was ten years old, things began to fall apart. I began to have feelings for one of the women at the church. I don't know…I thought there was something there, I thought she felt it too, so I made a move on her. God, I don't know what possessed me to do that, I was putting my whole life at risk. Anyway, John, my husband, eventually caught wind of the gossip. He confronted me about it, and I just couldn't deny it."_

_Nikki watched Dawn as she spoke, the emotion and the sadness that was going through was evident in the way her words trembled. Tears finally began to fall as she recalled her last days with her family. _

_"That was the day everything fell apart. John left me, or rather, made me leave. The church disowned me, my family didn't want anything to do with me…my life was over. He eventually got full custody of Helen. That was the worst day of my life. To not have her in my life was the worst thing…for any mother. She was everything to me. I've often tried to find her, or contact her. But what would I say?"_

_Dawn began to openly sob, and Nikki moved around the table to comfort her. She instinctively knew that she would not get any more out of Dawn about her family. Although, after what she had heard already, it was enough to take in. Nikki knew what it was like to be an outcast from her family. Although she imagined it was much more difficult for Dawn, having a life she built torn down around her. _

__Nikki arrived at the Graveyard 20 minutes before the funeral was to begin. As she pulled into the car park, she took in her surroundings and was glad to see the beauty of the grounds, given its use. It would make the ceremony she had arranged feel more special.  
Nikki walked towards the top of the hill to collect her thoughts before the ceremony. It was a beautiful view… 'Just what dawn would have wanted' Nikki thought to herself. It had been hard coming to terms with Dawns death. Standing in the graveyard where she was to be buried finally made her digest reality; Dawn was gone. After Dawn had her first heart attack, Nikki spent as much time with her in hospital as she could between working, eating and attempting to sleep? Looking back now, Nikki realised that Dawn was trying to prepare Nikki for her death. But only now, was she prepared to accept it.

_****_

_"Nikki dear," Dawn sighed, struggling for breath. "Come sit with me here, we need to discuss a few things."_

_Dawn shifted in her hospital bed as Nikki sat beside her. She took a hold of Nikki's hand before she began to speak. _

_"I need you to do some things for me dear. Is that ok?" Dawn asked already knowing that Nikki would do almost anything. _

_"Of course Dawn. You name it!" Nikki replied._

"Ok. Now listen to me before you say anything. You must know that I am not going to be around for much longer…"

_"Dawn…" Nikki pleaded, beginning to interrupt. _

_"Nikki, please, listen," Dawn insisted, and waited for Nikki to nod her head before continuing. "I can't live forever Nikki. I know that I have become your family. You must know that you are my family as well. The past 15 or so years have been wonderful. It's like having a daughter all over again. That's why you are the only person that can do these things for me."_

_Nikki gave a nod again, and squeezed Dawns hand, encouraging her to continue. _

_"My bookstore Nikki. Please, don't let them take it. It's so special to so many people. You must not let anything happen to it."_

_"Of course," Nikki replied, "It will always be Dawns Haven."_

_"The second thing…I want to rest somewhere beautiful. Find me somewhere that I will be happy."_

_"Ok," Nikki said as tears began to prick behind her eyes. _

_"And lastly Nikki…This is very important. Helen. I need to know she will be ok. Please Nikki, I know you are strong, can you find her? Can you look out for her?"_

_"It would be my pleasure Dawn," Nikki replied, before reaching out to hold her._

_They sat talking until visiting time was over, and Nikki reluctantly left. _

_"Look after yourself Nikki. You're a special woman, with such a big heart. You'll be just fine, ok?" Dawn said as Nikki stood to leave. _

_"Thank you Dawn. I love you!" Nikki replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."_

_Nikki left the hospital and arrived home to find a message on her answering machine from the hospital. Dawn had another heart attack not long after she said goodbye and died. _

_****_

Nikki wiped the single tear from her face before making her way back for the service. From a distance, she could see many people arriving; most of them customers from the bookstore, the rest of them were friends she had made over the years. Amongst the crowd, however, she saw one person she didn't recognise standing alone. It wasn't until she got closer that she realised the resemblance… A woman who looked her own age, with dark blonde hair, petite figure, and the most beautiful green eyes Nikki had ever seen. The first thing she noticed, however, when she finally stood facing her some 20 feet away, was her extremely kissable lips. There was no doubt that this was Dawns daughter, and the most gorgeous woman Nikki had ever laid eyes on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Helen found herself standing amongst a group of people she had never met. It was unexpected, considering all that she had been told from her father ever since her mother left. If her mother was the monster she was made out to be, then why was she surrounded by dozens of people who were so obviously devastated by her death?

It was at that moment, as she glanced around at all the tear stained faces, that she realised how wrong she had been to believe all that her father had told her. She regretted not going through with finding her mother, like she had wanted to all those years ago.

_****_

_"Helen, what is this?" John asked, non-too pleased. He was holding up a notebook that Helen recognised as hers. _

_"That's my notebook dad," Helen replied, hoping he had not read through it, but knowing that if he was questioning her, he obviously had. "What were you doing going through my stuff?"_

_"I know it's your notebook, but I'm talking about what's written in it," he replied. "And don't try and change the subject. Where did you get this information?"_

_"It doesn't matter. I'm old enough to make my own decisions now dad," Helen responded with determination. "I'm not home from University even two days, and already you're back to your old tricks. You had no right going through my stuff. That's personal, and it's not your business."_

_Helen felt her anger growing as she tried to take her notebook off her father, but he simply stepped back and held it from her reach._

_"It is my business when you go behind my back to try and get in contact with that women," he replied, holding back his own anger. _

_"That women, whether you like it or not, is my mother. I have every right to contact her," Helen roared. "I'm 20 years old now. You can't expect me to live by your rules forever. She was my mother! Do you think I can't remember her? Do you think I can just wipe the first ten years of my life from my memory? You may have thought she was some kind of monster, but I never saw it."_

_It wasn't until she finished her screaming that she realised the pain on her father's face was not only caused by her anger. He was holding his chest, and struggling to keep on his feet. _

_"Dad?" Helen gasped, running to his side. "Dad I'm sorry, what is it?"_

_"No Helen," he sighed, falling against the wall and sliding down it. "Please, leave it. You don't know…you can't…"_

_That was all Helen heard before he clutched his heart and lost consciousness. He suffered from a heart attack, and was hospitalised for some time. Helen vowed to herself that she would stand by her father…She would no longer attempt to find her mother. _

_****_

Helen was brought back from her thoughts when people began to move towards the graveyard. She began to walk with the crowd when she had a strange sensation curse through her body, and she thought she was being watched. Stopping in her tracks, Helen turned around to be faced with two warm brown eyes gazing at her from a women stood about 20 feet away. She wasn't quite sure what she was feeling, but for some strange reason, she felt like there was some kind of connection between them; almost like she knew her. With one last questioning look, Helen dropped her gaze and continued on her way.

The ceremony was beautiful. It was hard for Helen to listen to all the wonderful things that were said about her mother. Not because she thought they were untrue, but because she never got to see them for herself. She was surprised to learn that the woman she had shared a brief glance with was one of her mothers' closest friends. Nikki, her name was. Helen was brought to tears when she had made her speech.

When the ceremony was brought to a close, everyone silently began to walk away. A wake was to be held at Nikki's home, however she felt she had no right to be there. Helen remained standing at her mothers' grave and began to cry. Her whole body began to shake as the guilt and sadness she felt finally began to show its true form. Then out of nowhere, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around and was once again facing those deep brown eyes.

"Helen?" Nikki asked.

"Yes," Helen replied, surprised that this woman knew her name. "How did you…?"

Nikki didn't remove her hand from Helens shoulder, and Helen made no attempt to move it herself. They looked at each other for quite some time, both looking for answers.

"She loved you so very much, Helen," Nikki finally said.

In an instant Helen had moved into Nikki's embrace, and held on, so tight, as she tried to hold back the sobs that were attempting to break free. Nikki had held her close, feeling tears fall down her own cheeks, until Helen's cries began to subside.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry," Helen gasped as she removed herself from Nikki's arms. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's ok Helen," Nikki insisted. "In fact, it was probably just what I needed myself."

Helen felt a small smile reach her lips when she saw the sincerity in Nikki's eyes.

"It's Nikki, right?" Helen queried.

"Yes."

"Thank you Nikki."

Nikki moved forward to stand next to Helen and glanced down at the coffin. They both stood, unmoving, and without a word, for quite some time. It wasn't until they felt small raindrops that they considered leaving.

"Will you come to the wake?" Nikki asked looking at the sky, then back down at Helen.

"I'm not sure Nikki, I…" Helen wasn't sure it was the right thing to do.

"Please? It's just…well, there are things to be said."

Helen looked into Nikki's eyes. This was the woman her mother had been closest to for the past fifteen years, according to the speech Nikki had made less than an hour ago. If Helen wanted any of her questions answered, she knew Nikki would be the best one to answer them.

"Ok," Helen replied as the rain slowly began to get harder. "Lead the way Nikki."

Helen followed Nikki home and was surprised to see that they pulled up outside a bookstore called 'Dawns Haven'. The first thing she noticed as she exited her car was how quiet the area was. It was surrounded by a mass of trees, and across the road was a small children's playground, which was also surrounded by forest. The bookstore itself looked like a large cottage with a courtyard.

"Are you ok?" Nikki asked, coming to stand in front of her.

"Yes, I'm just in awe," Helen commented, gesturing towards the bookstore. "It's beautiful."

"Yea, it is," Nikki admitted, glancing around.

"But, I thought the wake was being held at your place," Helen queried. "At least, that's what I heard people saying."

Nikki smiled, realising how those at Dawns funeral could have made the mistake.

"Well, it's not my place, but I do practically live here." Nikki replied. "Although there is a little flat out the back, above the store that I sometimes stay in. Not often though. Come through and have a look."

Nikki led the way through the front door. They entered a room that had walls covered from floor to ceiling with bookcases full of old books. At the other side of the room, they entered a hall, which had two doors either side. One was an entrance to a small kitchen, the other a bathroom. At the end of the hall was an even bigger room containing more floor to ceiling bookshelves? On the other side of the bookshelves were about half a dozen sofa's, and 2 tables covered in appetizers. The room was full of people that Helen recognised from the funeral.

"Would you like a drink?" Nikki asked. As she turned around she saw Helen looking a little apprehensive. She gently brush Helens forearm to try and reassure her.

"Helen, are you ok?" she asked. "It'll be fine. Stay with me, I'll introduce you to some really lovely people. Ok?"

"Ok," Helen sighed. She didn't know anyone in the room and was quite worried if any of them knew of her. These people had been her mother's closest companions. It was only natural to wonder if her mother ever talked about her with any of these people. Then, if she had, what was their reaction?

As Helen made her way around the room to meet everyone, her mind wandered back to the fun times she had spent with her mother.

_****_

_"Ok madam, I think it's time for bed," Dawn teased as she crept her way over towards her daughter who was lying on the couch. _

_"Mummy, mummy, can we do the airplane?" Helen asked, jumping up from her position and bouncing up and down. _

_"Oh, I don't know, have you been a good girl today?" Dawn teased. _

_"Yes, I promise I have. And I'll be good tomorrow too," Helen said excitedly with a smile from ear to ear. _

_"Ok then, come here you little rascal," Dawn said lifting Helen from the ground and holding her under her arm. "Put your wings out! Can't go far without wings!"_

_Helen placed her hands out to her sides as Dawn began to carry her daughter towards her bedroom. _

_"Uhoh, this could get a bit bumpy," Dawn teased as they approach a set of stairs._

_Helen was giggling all the way to her bedroom as her mother carried her, airplane style. This was not something that happened regularly, and was kept for special occasions. However there was never a night that went by when little Helen did not have her mother read her a bedtime story. _

_"What is it going to be tonight?" Dawn asked, as she tucked Helen in tight under her covers. _

_"Cinderella!" Helen said excitedly. "We haven't read that in a long time."_

_"Ok my princess," Dawn sighed, reaching for her daughters' favourite bedtime story. She sat down beside Helens lying form, and began to read._

It was more the sound of her mothers' voice, rather than the story itself, that Helen loved to hear. Every night she would lie there watching her mother as she read and fall asleep to the lull of her mother's story-telling.

_****_

"Helen dear," an elderly lady said as she approached Helen sitting in one of the sofas, "I just wanted to say that I hope to see more of you around here. Your mother had a lovely spirit and I can see that the apple didn't fall far from the tree."

"Thank you," Helen replied standing to farewell the woman. "You are very kind."

As the woman walked away Helen realised that Nikki and herself were the only ones remaining in the room. She made her way over to Nikki, who was cleaning up over by the tables.

"Here, let me help you with that," Helen said as she held open the bag for Nikki to dispose of the rubbish. They both let a small smile grace their features, before continuing on with the job at hand.

"I didn't realise everyone had left," Helen claimed. "I must have been off in my own little world."

"Yes, I noticed that," Nikki replied. "But I realise there must be a lot for you to take in."

"I'm getting there," Helen said as she tied the bag of rubbish up. "Where's the bin Nikki, to put this in?" Helen asked raising the bag.

"Here, let me take it. Why don't you make yourself a coffee, while I finish cleaning up," Nikki suggested, "you look like you might need one."

"Ok, thanks," Helen replied, before asking, "How do you take it? Would you like one?"

"White with two, thanks," Nikki replied smiling. "I won't be too long."

Helen made her way to the small kitchen and switched the kettle on. It had been a draining week for Helen. She felt as though now was the only time she was allowed to have a break. Ever since she saw her mother's name in the obituary section of the newspaper, her father had been on her back.

_****_

_"What do you mean you're going to the funeral?" John asked. _

_"I mean, I'm going to say good bye to my mother, why is that so hard to understand?" Helen replied. _

_"You've said good bye. You did that fifteen years ago," he roared. "You're just like her you know! Don't care about what anyone else thinks!"_

_"Is that what this is about dad? What other people will think?" Helen asked incredulously._

_She saw a look of panic, or was it guilt, wash over her father's face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. _

_"You don't know anything Helen," John exclaimed. _

_"Wow, that's it isn't it? What did she do dad, because you never really did tell me! Did she humiliate you? Huh? Tell me!" Helen said, holding in her anger. _

_"I don't want to talk about this. You mother hurt a lot of people with her actions. She was a disgrace to this family, and you won't be going to that funeral!" John stated as a matter of fact._

"That's where you're wrong dad," Helen said calmly. "I will be going. And to be totally honest, I don't know whether I want to come back to this, so you can say your good byes now. I'll be leaving in the morning."

_Helen walked up the stairs and into her bedroom before she let her tears drop. It was going to be hard, but this was something she had to do. If her father wouldn't accept it, and couldn't understand that, he would have to deal with it. _

"Somewhere nice I hope," Nikki said as she sat down at the kitchen table opposite Helen.

"Wha… oh sorry Nikki, gone again," Helen sighed. "Can't seem to keep my head straight these days."

"It's alright," Nikki said calmly. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm a good listener," she said smiling.

"I know, that's something I've already sensed about you," Helen said returning Nikki's smile over the rim of her coffee cup.

"Really? Well, that's a start I suppose."

Silence hung in the air, as neither of them knew what to say. Helen finally broke the silence.  
"Nikki, how did you meet my mother?"

Nikki shifted in her seat and placed her hands around her coffee cup as if to try and warm up her hands.

"I was a regular in this very bookstore. She was always so lovely to everyone. We became good friends," Nikki said shrugging her shoulders, looking into her cup. "I stayed with her when my parents kicked me out of home," Nikki added.

"I'm sorry," Helen finally said, placing hand on Nikki's forearm.

"Don't be, I'm not," Nikki replied, trying to hide the sensation of Helens hand on her arm.

"Anyway, I'm sorry to cut this short," Nikki said standing, "but I have to head home."

"Of course," Helen replied regretfully. She stood from her chair and washed up her cup, before heading for the door.

"Thank you Nikki," Helen said, stopping at the door to face her. "I probably wouldn't have coped as well if…well, thank you," she smiled.

"Anytime," Nikki replied.

Helen began to leave when Nikki spoke up again, and Helen turned to face her.

"Oh Helen, I don't know if you'll be able to make it, but…well, Dawn had a will done up. Will you come? Tomorrow?" she asked holding her breath.

"Of course," Helen replied. "When and where?"

"Here, tomorrow at 11am."

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then Nikki," and Helen left.

Nikki couldn't explain it, but she had felt a chill creep up through her body the moment Helen had left the room. She knew she found Helen attractive from the moment she saw her, but this was not just attraction. Helen had stirred up something within her, and Nikki wasn't sure if it was due to her emotional state, but she felt like they had some kind of connection.

In the meantime, Helen was sitting in her car wondering what on earth was going on. She had only met Nikki a few hours ago, and already she didn't want to leave her. She had enjoyed her company, and the way she made her feel, even if their conversations were only small. She wasn't sure why, but Helen knew that meeting Nikki was going to change her life, in some way or the other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

Helen arrived at Dawns Haven at 10:45am. She walked through the open door to see a few familiar faces of those she had met the day before. She slipped through the hall unnoticed and found Nikki sitting in the kitchen holding a coffee cup.

"Hiya Nikki."

"Helen, hi," Nikki said jumping a little in her chair. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"That's ok…Maybe you've caught my disease," Helen replied. Nikki looked at her confused for a moment, before Helen clarified her statement. "The amount of times you've caught me spaced out…"

"Oh, right," Nikki sighed, smiling. "Oh, Helen, shit. I'm sorry; I should have got your contact details before you left yesterday. Dawn's lawyer won't be able to make it until this afternoon."

"Oh, well, that's ok. I can come back."

Nikki glanced at her watch, noticing it was almost lunchtime.

"Have you had lunch Helen?" Nikki queried. "Only…I was about to head upstairs for some lunch. Would you like to join me? I mean, unless you have something else to do. I don't want to keep you from anything…" Nikki rambled.

"I'd love to Nikki," Helen replied with a smile.

"Oh, ok. Well, um, ok, this way then," Nikki said, gesturing towards the door.

^She's nervous,^ thought Helen. ^I wonder why?^

Helen followed Nikki as they headed towards the corner of a room at the end of the hall and headed up a set of stairs that Helen had previously not seen.

"Won't you be needed down here?" Helen asked. "I mean, what if someone needs you? Who's looking after the place?"

"Most of our customers have been coming here for years," Nikki explained. "Besides, there's a buzzer at the bottom of the stairs; they know how to get in contact with me."

"Oh ok, sounds like it's all sorted then," Helen replied, not knowing what to say.

They passed through a small lounge area, with a door at the end which looked as though it held a bedroom behind it, and made their way into the small kitchen of the upstairs apartment.

"So…" Nikki sighed, turning to face Helen.

"So…"

"So…what would you like for lunch?" Nikki asked, turning on her heal and opening the pantry cupboard. "Something light, like a sandwich or something a bit more substantial, like lasagna."

"Oh, well what were you planning on having before I showed up?" Helen queried.

"I was planning on having lasagna actually," Nikki replied, sticking her head out of the pantry to meet Helens eyes. "I haven't had much of an appetite these last few weeks, and now that I have it back, it feels like I haven't eaten in months."

"Well then, lasagna it is!"

They made the lasagna together, stepping around each other in the small kitchen. The normality of the situation was not lost on either of them. They both felt comfortable in the other's presence, and instead of questioning it, they embraced it.

When the lasagna was left to cook in the oven, Nikki grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses and headed towards the small living area, closely followed by Helen.

"Helen, I hope you don't take this as like a sleazy pick up line, but have we met before?" Nikki asked as she sat down on one end of the sofa. "It's just that, I feel like I know you. I don't know, maybe it's because you're Dawns daughter."

"To be honest, I was thinking the same thing," Helen replied, sitting on the opposite end of the sofa. "And why would I think it a sleazy pick up line?"

"Oh I don't know. Are you saying you've never had a guy come up to you and ask you if you've met before?" Nikki asked, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"Actually, no. To be honest, I don't usually get hit on."

Nikki did little to hide her surprise at Helens comment. "What, never? Where do you hide yourself?" Nikki replied, finding it hard to believe that a beautiful women like Helen would be short of offers.

"Well, when you're the daughter of a religious figure, you don't get approached very often by men," Helen replied.

"Right, of course."

"Which is not to say that I've not dated them. Only, they all seem like 'respectable men', you know, the kind of men my father would be happy for me to end up with," Helen sighed.

"And, these aren't the sort of men you want?" Nikki questioned.

"I'm not sure. I just want to be with someone I connect with, you know? I've not met a man I just click with," Helen said.

"Yea, I understand completely," Nikki replied, totally aware of the way she seemed to 'click' with Helen, and suddenly feeling disappointed that Helen was straight.

"So, what about you Nikki? Are you seeing anyone?"

"No, I'm not seeing anyone," Nikki replied, shifting slightly in position. "Just like you, I guess I'm waiting for someone I just click with."

"Another thing we have in common then," Helen replied, before glancing around the living room.

Conversation flowed easily between the two. They spoke about their dreams and ambitions, places they've been to and places they wanted to visit. They even spoke about children and what they would name their own if they had them, before the oven buzzer went off.

"That's lunch. Great, I'm starved," Nikki said, getting up and heading for the kitchen.

"Now that you mention it…" Helen replied, in hot pursuit. "I haven't had a decent meal since I got here. Thanks for having me Nikki."

"It's my pleasure Helen," Nikki replied turning to face Helen. She smiled at Helen for a few moments before turning to dish out their meal.

Helen felt something turn in her stomach when Nikki had smiled at her. It wasn't something she had felt before, and made her wonder why Nikki had this effect on her.

After lunch, they went back to sitting in the living room and continued with their conversation. Not long had passed when they heard another buzzer.

Helen looked around confused, unsure of where it was coming from. Nikki just watched her face…^she looks so cute when she's confused^.

"That's the buzzer from down stairs," Nikki said getting up from her chair. "I'll go check it out. Be back in a second."

When Nikki left the apartment, Helen was left with her own thoughts. She was confused by the fact that even though Nikki was only gone for a short time, she missed her presence and knew that there was only ever one other time that she felt this kind of loneliness.

_"Mum? Mum where are you going?" Helen cried as she came running down the stairs. _

_"Helen, I thought I told you to stay upstairs!" John exclaimed forcefully. _

_"John, don't you dare take your anger out on Helen!" Dawn said menacingly. "Now please, give me a few minutes to talk to my daughter."_

_John looked at her in shock. His shock soon turned to a look of warning. "If you say one thing…" John started, but was quickly cut off. _

_"For goodness sake. Don't worry, I won't turn her. Now go, please, two minutes," Dawn replied, pleading with her eyes. _

_"Two minutes," John warned. _

_"Mummy, what's going on?" Helen asked as her father walked away and her mother crouched down and held her in her arms. _

_"Mummy has to go away for a while," Dawn tried to explain. _

_"When will you be back? Who's going to read me my bed time stories while you're gone?" Helen asked, her voice full of sorrow. _

_"I'm sure daddy won't mind darling," Dawn replied, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. "Helen, I'm going to be honest with you ok?" Dawn asked, pleading with her eyes for Helen to understand. _

_"Ok mummy," Helen replied, slightly worried. _

_"Mummy has done something to upset your daddy, and I have to go away for a little while to fix it. Now I don't want you to think that I'm leaving you, ok? I love you, very much. And I'll be back as soon as I can. Ok?" Dawn said, before pulling Helen in for another hug. _

_"Mummy, what's happening? Why do you have to go away to fix it? Can't you just say sorry, that's what I do. It makes it all better," Helen replied, hopeful. _

_"Honey, I'm so sorry. I wish I could say sorry. Remember when I told you that you should only say sorry when you really mean it?"_

_Helen nodded. _

_"Well, that's why I can't say sorry. I can say sorry to you, because I never wanted to upset you. All that matters is that I love you, and your daddy loves you. Ok sweetie?"_

_"Ok mummy. I love you too!" Helen replied, giving her mother one last hug. _

_"Are you ready now?" John asked as he approached them. _

_"Ok, ok, I'm going," Dawn sighed, letting go of Helen and standing up. _

_"I'll be back soon, sweetie," Dawn said, before turning to leave the house. John followed closely behind, telling Helen to return to her room._

_Helen began to walk up the stairs, but returned to the front door when her mother and father walked out. She listened closely to the conversation. _

_"You shouldn't get her hopes up like that," John said. _

_"What do you mean?" Dawn asked. _

_"You won't be seeing her soon. Not if I can help it."_

_"John, she is my daughter. I will be seeing her."_

"Just go Dawn."

_Helen ran back up the stairs when she heard her father approaching the front door. She couldn't help but wonder what her mother did? And whether she would see her again. She ran in her room, closed the door, and began to cry as she lie on her bed._

"Helen?"

Helen jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, jolting her from her thoughts.

"Helen, are you ok? You're crying," Nikki asked as she made her way around the couch to sit next to Helen.

"Och, it's nothing. Reliving the past and all that. I'm fine, honestly," Helen replied wiping her tears away.

"Are you sure?" Nikki asked, tucking a stray hair behind Helens ear.

"I'm sure," Helen replied looking into Nikki's eyes and seeing genuine concern. "Was there a problem?"

"Problem?" Nikki asked. She wasn't really listen, she was caught up in Helens eyes. She looked so sad when she came into the room and all she really wanted to do was pick her up and hold her and take all the sadness away.

"Downstairs?" Helen asked.

"Oh, right. No, the lawyer is here to read the will," Nikki replied, coming back to the conversation. "Would you prefer it if he came up here, or do you want to do down stairs?"

"I don't mind. Whatever is easier."

"Ok well, I'll just go get him," Nikki replied standing up and heading to the door once again.

When Nikki left, Helen was again left at a loss. ^Her eyes, they were so deep, and so full of concern^. Her thoughts were cut short as Nikki re-entered the room with Dawns lawyer behind her.

"Helen, this is Sven Norton, Dawns attorney. Sven, this Helen…" Nikki paused, and looked at Helen questioningly.

"Helen Stewart, nice to meet you Sven," Helen said, shaking Sven's hand.

"Nice to meet you too Helen. So, shall we begin?" Sven asked.

"Of course. Take a seat. Would you like anything before we begin?" Nikki asked.

"I'm fine, although we will require a DVD player," Sven replied.

"There's one just in this cupboard, with the television," Nikki said as she opened the cupboard.

"Great. I'll just pop this in and go over a few formalities before we watch it."

He placed a DVD into the player before turning the television on and returning to sit in the chair, remote in hand.

"Ok. I have in front of me a written statement from Dawn, stating that it be read in the presence of Nikki Wade and, in the event that Nikki got in contact with her, Helen Stewart. It states that on the 19 June, 1999, Dawn was of sound mind and was not under the influence of any substance upon writing this will. It states that in the event of her death, the DVD provided will be shown to Nikki and Helen, which will explain all that needs to be explained. I will now show you the tape, and afterwards I will need a few signatures to state that you understand what was said and to turn over possessions etc."

Sven pressed play and all eyes were on the television. When Dawn's face appeared on the screen, Helen reached on instinctively to hold Nikki's hand, her eyes never leaving the screen. Nikki continued watching as she squeezed Helens hand in reassurance.

"Hello. I feel a little funny talking to a camera. But then if you are going to be listening…Nikki, I know you are there. I know this must be tough for you. I hope you never forget me, or how much I loved you. How much I still love you. I may be gone, but I'll be watching over you. I don't know if Helen is there. I hope she is. I hope you found her because I know she would be a strong women, like she was when she was a little girl. I hope that if you have found her, that you will find comfort in each other. Helen, if you are watching… There are so many things I wish I could say. I'm sorry for leaving, I suppose is the first of many things. And I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough to find you. Hopefully, Nikki will be able to fill you in on the other things. I'm sorry I'm not there to do it myself. You two are the most important things in my life. Which is why I'm leaving everything to the both of you. I want all my possessions, including my home, and my bookstore, left in both your names. I hope you can find a way to work together. I hope you will become friends. I must go. But, both of you remember my parting words. Helen, it was a long time ago, but I meant every word. And Nikki. I haven't said them yet, but remember them. *laugh*. Ok, I'm done."

A small tear slid down Nikki's face as the recording was turned off. She felt and heard Helen begin to weep beside her, and it broke her heart. She turned towards her, letting go of her hand, and wrapped her up in her arms. Helen was glad for the comfort. She put her head on Nikki's shoulder and wrapped her arms around her stomach as she wept. With Helens head under her cheek, she gently smoothed Helens hair, allowing Helen to let out her sadness, and a few stray tears to fall down her own face.

After all the forms were signed, and the lawyer had explained what they needed to know, Nikki led him to the door and said goodbye. She returned to the couch and sat beside Helen again.

"Are you ok with everything?" Nikki asked as she turn to sit facing Helen. "I mean, I know you're probably not ok, but…Well, I mean with the whole owning half a business and house with me."

"I'm ok with it," Helen sighed, as she mirrored Nikki's position. "I'm sure you'd make a good partner."

Nikki picked up on the double meaning that statement could have. Helen, however, was oblivious.

"Are you going to head back home soon?" Nikki asked. "Or, an even better question, where is home?"

"That is a good question actually," Helen sighed. "When I left, my father wasn't too impressed. I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to return. It was said in haste, but now that I've thought about it, it's probably time I moved out of home."

"Have you thought about where you would like to live?" Nikki asked.

"Well, that kind of depends on what happens here doesn't it?" Helen replied, looking questioningly at Nikki.

"Here?"

"Yes, well, now that I have half a bookstore and half a house, maybe I might consider staying on here," Helen said, before adding quickly, "That is, unless, well, I mean I wouldn't be offended if you wanted me out of the way. I mean, I've been here, what, 2 minutes and I'm just throwing myself in here like…"

Helen didn't get a chance to finish her sentence before Nikki interrupted her.

"Helen, wow, slow down. For starters, I would love for you to stay on here," Nikki said, placing her hand on Helens. "And I would love to run a book store with you. It's what Dawn would have wanted as well."

"Well, that's settled then isn't it?" Helen said smiling.

"Yes it is," Nikki replied. "Where are you staying now?"

"I'm at a little motel not far from here. It's not a big town is it?" Helen stated. "I guess I might start looking for a place to rent. Although I won't be able to afford much."

"Helen, why don't you stay in the house your mother left you?" Nikki suggested.

"You mean, the house she left us," Helen replied, before adding, "Nikki, I didn't intend to come here and expect anything from my mother's death…"

"Helen, I know that," Nikki interrupted.

"Please Nikki, just let me finish," Helen said, pleading with Nikki.

Nikki nodded, and Helen continued.

"I came here to say goodbye to my mother. I didn't expect to meet any of her friends, or to even hear the reading of her will, let alone be left any of her possessions. She obviously cared very much for you, and already I can see why. You're a wonderful person. I'm saying all this because, although it's a kind offer, I don't think I would feel right living there. It's more yours than it is mine. Perhaps, I mean, I don't know where you live, or if you have bought your own home, but perhaps you might consider living there?"

Nikki was stunned by Helens thoughtfulness.

"To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it," Nikki admitted. "I mean, I am only renting at the moment, and I couldn't possibly afford to buy a home."

Nikki sat looking at Helen, thinking about the situation at hand. Helen needed a home, Nikki rented a home. They both equally own a home. The solution was simple, but was Helen prepared to even consider it?

"Helen, how would you feel if… Well, you said you wouldn't feel right living there. But how would you feel about living there…with me?" Nikki asked.

"You mean, we'd be like 'roomies'?" Helen replied. Nikki nodded. "I've never had a 'roomie' before," Helen said with a smile. "I'd love to."

"Great, well, now that that's settled," Nikki replied with a smile of her own. "Shall we toast?"

"Indeed!" Helen replied, grabbing the bottle of wine from the table, pouring it into two glasses, and handing one to Nikki. "To new friendships!"

"To new friendships, and to Dawn," Nikki replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four  
**_Two months later  
_  
"I think I'm really starting to get the hang of this now," Helen stated as they closed down the shop for the night.

"Yea, you're doing really great. A natural people person," Nikki replied as she locked the front door to Dawns Haven and they began walking home.

"Ahh, well I was studying to be a psychologist at uni," Helen replied.

"Yea, you told me that. Why didn't you finish your degree?" Nikki asked.

"I decided I'd be happier here. I wasn't too far into my course when I left. I mean, I took time off before going to uni, then took another year off after my first year…I just don't think I was ready, you know?" Helen replied.

"I suppose I do know what you mean. Although I've never even considered going to uni. This is my life, and I'm happy with it," Nikki stated.

They continued walking the short distance home in silence. It was a comfortable silence, one they had become accustom to since they had met. Each taking in their surroundings, just happy to be in each other's presence.

"What do you fancy for tea?" Nikki asked as they approached the front door.

"Well, I was just thinking…How's about we pick up some take out and a bottle of vodka and have a nice, drunken night in," Helen replied, with a suggestive grin. "I haven't been drunk since I arrived here. Minus my little trip home to sort everything out."

"Alright, you've talked me into it," Nikki said grinning and shaking her head. "But just keep in mind that we have a bookstore to run tomorrow. And if you get me too drunk, I'll send you in on your own."

"Ok, deal, now come on," Helen said as she grabbed Nikki by the arm and dragged her further down the road towards the bottle shop.

They arrived home some time later with two bottles of vodka, Chinese take-out and a movie. Nikki grabbed a blanket from the closet while Helen set the food and drinks out on the coffee table in front of the television, and placed the movie in the DVD player. They sat down on the couch together, food in hand, and watched the movie. There was three quarters of a bottle gone before either of them felt the need to start a conversation.

"Nikki, can I ask you something?" Helen asked, still facing the television.

"You just did," Nikki smirked, and took another shot of vodka.

"Haha. You're sooo funny Miss Wade," Helen replied pushing Nikki in the arm. "What I mean though, was can I ask you something about my mother?"

Nikki put her glass down on the table and turned to face Helen. "Ask away Helen. You don't have to ask, I'll tell you anything I can."

"I've been a bit hesitant to ask. I guess I'm a bit scared of what the answer would be," Helen said turning to face Nikki, looking a bit apprehensive.

"Do you know why my mother left me?" Helen asked, a touch of sadness in her face.

"Oh Helen," Nikki sighed as she slid across the lounge to wrap her arm around Helens shoulders.

"I'll answer your question, but first of all you have to know that your mother never left you! Ok?"

Helen nodded before Nikki continued.

"I remember the first time your mother told me about you. When your father got full custody… She said that being away from you was the worst thing she's ever had to do," Nikki began. She was a little unsure as to how to broach the subject of why her mother left. But she knew that Helen had a right to know.

"Helen, your mother told me about a women that she knew from the church. She began to feel things, for her, and for women in general, that she knew the church would not approve of." Nikki hesitated to let the sentence sink in.

Helen turned her head to face Nikki, confusion written all over her face. Confusion turned into surprise, which eventually turned to a look of understanding.

"My mother was a lesbian?" Helen asked softly.

Nikki simply nodded and waited to see if Helen was going to say anymore, or ask any more questions. When nothing was forth coming, she continued to explain what had happened to Dawn.

"Everything came out into the open, which is why your mother left. Your father forced her to leave, and got full custody of you. She moved out here basically because she had no one. Everyone turned against her," Nikki continued. "She told me she tried to find you, but you had moved on. That, and after a while, she didn't know what your father had told you, or if you would even talk to her, if she ever figured out what she would say."

Helen sat up on the lounge. She had her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. It was a lot to take in. Nikki wasn't quite sure if she was taking it ok.

"Helen, is this a problem for you? I mean, do you have a problem with Homosexuality? Because if you do, then…" Nikki stopped and looked down into her lap.

"Then…what?" Helen asked as she brought her head back up and turned to look at Nikki.

"Well, maybe we might have a problem," Nikki replied. She took a deep breath before making her announcement. "Helen, your mother was a lesbian, yes. And so am I."

Helen sat, looking at Nikki, not sure of how to respond. Although hearing Nikki's words about her own sexuality made her speechless, for some reason it was not as much of a surprise as she thought, and she didn't feel any different towards her now than she did before.

"Helen?" Nikki said, waiting for a response. "Are you going to say something? What are you thinking?"

"No Nikki, homosexuality is not a problem for me. I'm just a little…well, I don't know. I don't know what to say, that's all," Helen responded, as she looked at Nikki, confusion written over her face.

"So, I guess it's safe to assume that your father never told you the real reason your mother left?" Nikki asked.

"No. No, he didn't," Helen sighed. "But I can definitely see him forcing mum to leave because of this. He always was very narrow minded."

"You're not upset then?" Nikki asked.

"No, I'm not upset," Helen replied. She sat silently for a while before a look of understanding crossed her face. "Is that why…I mean, with your parents. Did they disown you because of that?"

"Yes Helen. Like your father, my parents were also narrow minded."

"I'm so sorry Nikki," Helen sighed. She sat back in the couch and held on to Nikki's hand as she spoke. "I suppose you both had something in common then. You both had family who abandoned you. I only wish I could have understood. I'd have never let my father act in such a way if I'd have known. I should have looked for her sooner."

A single tear slid down Helens cheek. Nikki moved closer to hold her in her arms again.

"Oh Helen. You mustn't think like that. You were young, and you weren't to know," Nikki said encouragingly. "Your mother would be happy to know that you accepted who she was. To be honest, I was a little scared to tell you, not just about your mother, but about myself also. I was afraid that with your religious upbringing, you might not be so understanding."

"Nikki, I'm not my father," Helen replied as she turned to face Nikki in her arms and reached up to touch her cheek. "You are such a wonderful person. You're amazing. And I'm not about to miss out on your friendship because of who you love."

"I'm so happy to hear you say that," Nikki replied with tears welling in her eyes. "I know we haven't known each other very long, but I don't know how I'd cope without you."

"Oh Nikki, come here," Helen sighed as she pulled Nikki in for a tight hug. They held on to each other for some time, feeling safe with the knowledge that they had each other to depend on.

When they broke from the embrace, Helen wiped away Nikki's tears. "You ok now?"

"Yea," Nikki responded. "I feel much better."

They sat, looking into each other's eyes. Nikki had to physically stop herself from leaning forward those few inches and capturing Helen's lips. She had come to realise lately that her feelings towards Helen were more than just friendship, and more than just attraction. She was falling in love with the beautiful Scot, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Looking into her eyes, Helen felt that same feeling in her stomach that she had felt many times in the passing months. She couldn't explain it fully, but with Nikki's latest confession, it made her wonder if it could possibly be attraction. This scared her. Her whole life she was straight, but this women comes into her life, turns it upside down, and makes her question her entire existence.

Helen shook herself from her daze and looked away from Nikki. "It's late. Maybe we should call it a night hey?" she asked.

"Yea," Nikki replied, standing to clear the glasses. "You head on up to bed, I'll get these."

"Ok, thanks," Helen replied as she rose from the lounge and began to leave the room. She stopped at the doorway and watched as Nikki cleared the glasses. Nikki turned on her heal to see her standing in the door way watching. Her breathe caught in her throat as Helen smiled at her and disappeared from the room.

^If only you knew what you do to me^ Nikki thought. ^Yea right. If she knew she'd probably run a mile^ she reasoned with herself, before clearing the night's dishes and heading off to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

****The following day things went back to normal. Helen had insisted that Nikki remained home while Helen looked after the bookstore for the day. Nikki had eventually agreed, claiming that the back garden needed taking care of. Time passed quickly for Nikki in the garden, and before she knew it, Helen was arriving home.

"Refreshments," Helen exclaimed as she came out from the house, two glasses in hand.

"Mmm, thanks. Just what I needed," Nikki replied, noticing that Helen couldn't remove the smile from her face. "You look happy. Maybe you should go to work without me more often."

"Are you kidding me? It was horrible. I missed you terribly," Helen responded, still smiling, but with a look of disgust. "I didn't realise how boring it would be."

"So, why can't you remove that smile from your face then?" Nikki asked, taking a sip of her water.

"Well, apart from being home, I have a date on Friday night!" Helen replied before turning and walking back into the house, Nikki hot on her heals wanting more information.

"What? Really? Who?" Nikki insisted.

"Oh, just some tall handsome guy, who's a little rough around the edges," Helen replied as she reach the kitchen sink and leaned her back against it. "He came in today. I was a little shocked actually…He looked a bit out of place to be in a bookstore."

"So, what's his name, what does he do?" Nikki asked.

"His name is Thomas, and he's in real estate," Helen replied. "He just came in and swept me off my feet. It felt good. I've never been hit on before," she laughed.

"Well, good. He's sounds great. Hope it works out," Nikki replied as she finished her water and placed her glass in the sink, before heading back out into the garden. "I'm going to finish off this weeding."

Helen remained, slightly confused by Nikki's obvious hurt, but only slightly. Having the day to herself had given Helen the chance to do a lot of thinking, and Nikki's confession the previous night had been a hot topic. She'd come to the conclusion that Nikki might possibly have a thing for her, and decided that in order to not hurt her feelings, perhaps it was time for both of them to start dating other people.

"Actually, Nikki," Helen said as she followed Nikki out into the garden. "I kind of turned it into a double date."

Nikki turned around on her knees to face Helen. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we got chatting, and it turns out he has this really lovely friend, who just happens to be a…well, who's…gay, and we thought perhaps we could all go out for dinner and a movie."

"Helen, thanks, but no thanks. For starters, I'm not really in the right frame of mind to be dating at the moment. And secondly, how do you know my taste? She might be a shocker!" Nikki said calmly, but with enough force to make her point.

"Come on Nikki," Helen pleaded as she kneeled beside Nikki. "It'll be fun. Please?"

Nikki still looked skeptical, but she was beginning to cave just looking into the pleading eyes of Helen Stewart.

"For me?" Helen asked, and Nikki completely caved.

"Oh, ok, ok. For you. But please, if it doesn't work out, no more blind dates, deal?" Nikki replied.

"Deal," Helen said excitedly. "This is going to be great. Thanks Nikki."

Helen stood up and ran her hand through Nikki's hair quickly, before running off in the direction of the house. Nikki watched her leave, both disappointed that Helen had found a man, and excited at the prospect of spending a night out with Helen, albeit in the company of others.

"Come on Nikki, we're going to be late!" Helen yelled as she put her earrings on in the hall mirror.

"Ok, hold your horses," Nikki yelled back from her bedroom.

Nikki was nervous about tonight. She hadn't been out on a date in a while, and the idea of Helen being there was more of a deterrent. She'd thought about it all week and came to the conclusion that if Helen wasn't interested, she would have to move on. Now the idea of going on a date with Helen there as a distraction did not seem so appealing. What if her date had potential, and she was too busy gawking over Helen to see it?

Helen wasn't what you would call nervous. She was glad for the opportunity to take her mind away from Nikki and prove her heterosexuality to herself once again. She found Thomas attractive, and was eager to find out where this attraction might lead.

Helen was fixing her already perfect hair in the mirror when she saw Nikki enter the room behind her, looking for something.

"Alright, alright, I'm ready," Nikki said exiting her room. "Now where's my mobile phone?"

Helen didn't hear what Nikki was saying. She was too busy admiring her attire, and the way it sat so snug against her perfectly toned body. Her black dress shoes, nicely polished; her smart black hipster slacks, clinging to her body to accentuate her shapely hips; her tight black collared shirt, sitting just high enough to expose some flesh from her toned stomach; her small amount of make-up, messy 'I've just got out of bed' hair, carrying a black leather jacket over her arm. Helen couldn't help but continuously look her up and down in the mirror, until her voice jolted her back to reality.

"Helen?" Nikki repeated.

"What?"

"Have you seen my phone?" Nikki asked again, somewhat confused.

"Um, yea, you had it last night, check your pants pocket."

Nikki headed back into her room to check her pockets, although her mind was not entirely on the task. Helen looked absolutely stunning, and Nikki tried hard to keep her eyes from drifting over her body. The knee high, backless red dress, with a split up the side and what appeared to be a whole lot of cleavage, really left little to the imagination. ^She must really be out to impress tonight^ Nikki thought.

"Got it," Nikki said as she came out of the room. "Ok, let's go."

The night progressed well. Throughout dinner conversation flowed easily, and both Helen and Nikki were happy with their dates. As it turned out, Nikki's date, Trisha, owns a night club, which was a conversation starter between the two when Nikki began to tell stories from her night clubbing days. Helen was excited to learn that Thomas owned a motor cycle, and they arrange another date consisting of a ride and a nice picnic by the lake. When they all finished their meals, they headed to the cinemas to decide on a movie.

"So what kind of movies do you like Trisha?" Helen asked.

"I love a good action. Or a horror," Trisha exclaimed excitedly.

"Really? Action and horrors?" Nikki asked surprised.

"Yea, what about you?" Trisha asked.

"I'm more the romantic comedy type gal myself," Nikki replied.

"Yea, me too," Helen agreed. "Not into all that gore and stuff. What about you Thomas?"

"Well, I'm with Trisha on this one. Nothing like watching a good action movie at the cinemas," he admitted.

"So, what are we going to see then?" Helen asked.

"Here's a suggestion, if I may?" Nikki asked, before everyone encouraged her to continue.

"Let's just see the next movie that comes on, that way, if half of us don't like it, the others can't complain," Nikki suggested with a hint of laughter in her voice.

"My little genius. That sounds fair," Trisha said, linking arms with Nikki and resting her head on her shoulder as they walked. "Let's see what's on then shall we."

Nikki threw a smile over in Helen's direction. She noticed a glimpse of what she could have sworn was jealousy flash over her face, before it was quickly replaced with a smile to return her own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6  
**_6 months later _

Nikki and Helen were sitting in the lounge room, both of them reading a novel. Over the passing six months, they had both been happy in their relationships. Each of them had grown to care for their partners, however their friendship with each other usually came first.

"How's things with Trisha?" Helen asked, not lifting her head from her book.

"Things are going well. She's a great person, really fun to be with," Nikki replied, looking up from her book. "And you and Thomas?"

"Yea, great," Helen replied. She looked up at Nikki before gently closing her book and placing it to the side. "Actually…there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Nikki questioned.

"Yea, um. I've kind of been putting it off, but I can't for much longer," Helen replied, nervousness evident in her voice.

Nikki placed her book to the side and turned to face Helen. "Sounds serious. What is it?" Nikki asked slightly concerned.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it," Helen stated, before taking a deep breathe. "Thomas has asked me to join him in Paris. He's starting up a new business, and he'd like me to work with him, setting things up and running it."

"Oh," Nikki replied, trying desperately to force away the lump that had quickly taken residence in her throat. "So…I mean, are you going? When?"

"Well, that's the thing. We'd have to leave within the next month or so," Helen replied.

"Wow, sudden," Nikki stated, looking into her lap to hide the tears that were starting to well up in her eyes.

"Well, there is one catch," Helen replied, and waited for Nikki to respond. When she didn't, Helen continued. "I've told Thomas that my conditions were that you were to come as well…to work in Paris…with me."

Nikki looked up at Helen the moment she registered what Helen was telling her. She was surprised, and confused by Helen's decision.

"Me? But…why?" Nikki asked in bewilderment.

"Because Nikki,' Helen said as she stood from her chair and went to kneel in front of her, "in the time that we've known each other, I've come to depend on you in so many ways. I really cherish your friendship, and it would mean a lot to me if you were to come with me to Paris."

Nikki didn't know what to say. Here was the women she had fallen in love with, asking her to move with her to another country. She was so happy that she meant so much to Helen.

"Thomas has agreed, and he'd love for you to come. What do you say?" Helen asked with pleading eyes.

Nikki looked down into her lap. "Thomas wants me to come?" she asked, but it was more of a statement then a question, and Helen did not miss the look of sadness on Nikki face at the mention of his name.

"Yes. He does," Helen replied. "Nikki? Look at me."

Nikki looked up into Helens beautiful green eyes. "What about the bookstore?" she asked, suddenly realising that she was being asked to leave her life behind.

"Thomas is in real estate. He's already got someone who's interested in buying it," Helen replied.

"Wait, sell Dawn's Haven?" Nikki asked in amazement. "Helen, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I can't sell Dawn's Haven. That place…it means too much. To me, and to Dawn." Nikki didn't know if she was going to regret her next statement, but it was a risk she was willing to take. "I'm sorry Helen. I can't come to Paris with you."

Helen felt like her heart had just been ripped in two. She hadn't considered the fact that Nikki might not want to go with her. It took all she had not to run away and cry.

"Ok Nikki," she replied.

"Helen, it's not that I don't want to go with you. You have to understand…" Nikki pleaded, willing Helen to understand. "The day your mother died, she asked me to promise her three things. One of those promises was to never let anything happen to Dawn's Haven. It was her whole life, and she was mine. I'm sorry Helen, but I just can't leave it."

Helen lifted her hand to wipe the tears that had fallen from Nikki's cheek. "It's ok Nikki. I understand. I should never have asked you, I know how much that place means to you," Helen replied. "Nikki, if I go, please don't think that it means nothing to me; that you mean nothing to me. It's the complete opposite, ok."

"If you go? You mean, you'd consider not going, to stay here?" Nikki asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Well, I selfishly thought that you wouldn't hesitate to come with me. Now I realise how wrong I was to assume that, and now I guess I have to re-evaluate what my priorities are."

Just at that moment, the telephone rang. Helen got up to answer it.

"Hello? Oh, hi Trish, yea I'll just get her for you, hang on a minute."

"It's Trish, for you," Helen said, holding the phone out for Nikki who walked up and grabbed the receiver.

"Hi Trish, how are you babe?" Nikki asked. "Why? What's the matter? Of course I'll come around, but can't you tell me anything over the phone?…Ok, ok, I'll be there in 10 minutes…Ok, bye."

"What's the matter?" Helen asked, having heard the whole conversation.

"She didn't say, just that she wants me to go over to talk," Nikki replied putting on her jacket and picking up her keys. "I'll be back soon," she said.

She gave Helen a peck on the cheek as she left the house. She turned to leave, but stopped in her tracks when she realised what she'd done. She turned around to see Helen standing there stunned, looking at her questioningly.

"Sorry, instinct," was all she said, before leaving the house in a rush.

Nikki arrived at Trisha's home a short time later and knocked on her door briskly. She was worried about the way Trish sounded over the phone, and was eager to speak with her. She didn't have to wait long as Trisha opened the door and ushered her inside.

"Hey Nikki," she sighed giving Nikki a hug before leading her towards the lounge.

"Are you ok Trish? You sounded strange over the phone," Nikki said as she sat on the sofa beside Trisha.

"I'm ok Nikki. Nothing is wrong yet, but… well, I overheard some news today, and I…I'm sorry Nikki, I should have realised earlier," Trisha replied, looking at Nikki apologetically.

"Realised what Trish?" Nikki asked. She took a hold of her hand. "Trish, what's going on?"

"I overheard Thomas talking to Sean today…"

"Hang on, who's Sean?" Nikki interrupted.

"Sean works for a man called Jim Fenner at a firm call…"

"Jim Fenner!?" Nikki interrupted again. "What's that slimy bastard up to now?"

"Well, if you'll let me finish a sentence!" Trisha replied in mock anger.

"Ok, ok. Sorry. Go on."

"I heard him talking about some big development that was going to happen. They're thinking about putting in a huge holiday apartment block at some great new location. All that was fine until I heard him mention your bookstore."

"Dawn's Haven?" Nikki asked, feeling mixed emotions between fear and anger.

"Nikki, I hope it's not too late. He was saying how it was all going to be settled soon, that you and Helen as the owners would be out of the way soon. He said you were selling the place," Trisha stated. "You're not are you Nikki? I mean, I don't know you that well, but I know how much that place means to you."

Nikki was silently taking in the news, trying to figure out what Thomas' game was. She was piecing together everything she knew about Thomas and Jim Fenner.

"Nikki? Are you selling? And how do you know Jim Fenner?" Trisha asked, pulling Nikki from her thoughts.

"Jim Fenner is a slime ball. He popped up about 4 years ago, did everything he could to get Dawn to sell her bookstore. Poor Dawn, almost went bankrupt because of him. We eventually fought him off. I thought he got the picture," Nikki said menacingly. "As for selling, it never once crossed my mind, until tonight. Even then, the idea was gone as quickly as it appeared."

"Why, what happened tonight?" Trisha asked.

Nikki looked up at Trish. She didn't want Trish to know that Helen had asked her to move to Paris, and that she'd almost said yes. Instead she replied vaguely, without giving too much away.

"Nothing really. Helen was thinking of moving to Paris and…" Nikki started, but stopped as a realisation hit her. "Thomas! That little…."

Nikki jumped up from her seat and headed towards the door. "I'm sorry Trish, I have to go."

"Wait Nikki! Thomas what?" Trisha asked, as she watched Nikki running out the door.  
Nikki drove home as quickly as she could, raced up the stairs and in the front door. She could see Helen from the door standing in the kitchen.

"Nikki, you're back already," Helen said, not turning to face her. "I thought you'd be gone a while," she continued as she turned to find Nikki standing in the doorway, her face unreadable.

"Nikki? Are you ok, what did Trish want?" she asked.

"Helen, you can't move to Paris!" was all Nikki said, her eyes never leaving Helens.

Helens heart raced and butterflies were fluttering about in her stomach at Nikki's words. Helen was afraid this would happen, thinking that Nikki was going tell her she loved her and ask her not to go.

"Nikki, please, don't…" Helen began.

"No, Helen, you don't understand. Thomas doesn't love you!" Nikki said, moving towards her.

"What do you mean 'he doesn't love me'? Why not?" she asked.

"He's been lying to you," Nikki said gently.

Helen began to walk backwards as Nikki approached her slowly. "Lying? Nikki, what are you saying? Why has he been lying? How do you know?" Helen asked, her eyes becoming blurry with tears.

"Helen, sit down and let me explain," Nikki insisted.

"No Nikki!" Helen said a little too forcefully, shocking both herself and Nikki. "Just…just tell me. This isn't one of your games is it? To get me to stay?" she asked.

"What? Helen, why would you think that?" Nikki asked in shock. "Believe me Helen, there's nothing I want more than for you to be happy," Nikki said genuinely.

"Really?" Helen said sarcastically.

"Yes really!" Nikki replied, letting her anger start to seep out.

"That's funny. Here you are standing in front of me, on the night that I tell you that I might move to Paris with my boyfriend, telling me that he doesn't love me! Well, here's what I think Nikki!" Helen said vehemently. "I think I've been lucky enough to find someone who wants me to be happy, who is giving me an opportunity to do great things, who's putting his neck on the line taking a risk with me, who actually wants me. If that's not love Nikki…" Helen paused to think about what to say. "I don't get many offers Nikki, and I'm not going to let a man like that slip by."

"I can't believe you Helen!" Nikki almost screamed. "Are you saying that you're going to settle for someone you don't even love, because he's… he's, practical? So all that talk about wanting to find someone you just click with, to find someone who loves you unconditionally…that was all crap. All forgotten when a bit of money comes along."

"Don't you dare Nikki," Helen said stepping up to Nikki. "He treats me well, and cares about me. Which is more than I can say for you at this moment," Helen screamed angrily.

"Oh Helen, when are you ever going to realise! You don't even know the half of it!" Nikki replied, equally angry.

"What do you mean, 'I don't know the half of it' Half of what?" Helen asked exasperated.

Nikki didn't respond and just stared at her, her face searching Helens, begging for her to understand.

"What Nikki? Why shouldn't I go to Paris with Thomas? What the hell is all this about?"

Nikki was brought back to the reason she came here at the mention of Thomas. She was all fired up, and was not about to stop now.

"He wants Dawns Haven! He's been working with some slim ball who tried to take it away from Dawn years back. They want to knock it down and build holiday apartment blocks on the land, and he was using you to get us out of the picture," Nikki said aggressively. "And as for not knowing the half of it? I do care about you. At this moment, and every other. I've been in love with you practically from the day I met you, so don't tell me I don't care."

All Nikki could do was stare at Helen, and wait for her reaction. Helens face was a picture of surprise, and understanding, as they stood face to face.

"Well aren't you going to say something?" Nikki asked forcefully.

Helen was lost for words. She wanted to just grabbed Nikki and kiss her hard, to let her know that she felt the same way. But she was scared. She looked away from Nikki, and looked towards the front door, only to be confronted by a figure standing there.

"Trisha," Helen said quietly, confusing Nikki in the process.

"What?" Nikki said, before turning around and seeing Trisha standing at the door with tears welling up in her eyes. At that moment, Trisha turned away and ran from the house.

"Trisha, wait!" Nikki said beginning to run after her, before realising that Helen hadn't yet responded. She looked back at Helen questioningly.

"Well?" she asked, putting Helen on the spot once again. "Have you got anything to say?"

Helen had a lot to say. There were so many thoughts swimming through her head, she was unable to focus on just one. So she just said the first thing that came to mind. Unfortunately, it was not what Nikki wanted to hear.

"You should go and see if your girlfriends ok."

Nikki's face dropped at hearing those words. She took a deep breathe, and a step towards Helen, before bowing her head and walking briskly out the door.

Helen let out the breath she was holding from the moment the words left her mouth. It was a shaky breath, accompanied by a flow of tears that weren't about to stop any time soon. She let her body succumb to the sobs that had threatened to take over take her body, and slid down the kitchen bench onto the hard floor as she stared blankly, and with blurry eyes, at the front door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

****Nikki eventually caught up with Trisha at a quiet park not far from the house. She was sat on a swing, her shoulders slumped, staring blankly at the ground beneath her. Nikki approached her slowly from behind.

"Trish?" she said gently. "Trish, I'm sorry. Look, I…I don't know what to say."

Nikki went and sat down on the swing beside her. She looked over to see Trish looking at her, a look of defeat in her eyes.

"It's ok Nikki," she assured her. "I've known for some time that you were in love with her. I was stupid to think that you could fall for me."

"You know? But how…." Nikki began, stunned into silence.

"I've seen it Nikki. Every time she walks into a room, your face lights up. Every time you talk about her, there's this look in your eyes. I thought maybe…" Trisha began, before looking back down into the sand and taking a deep breath to continue. "I thought maybe I might be able to help you get over her; that you might start to love me. Obviously I'm not good enough."

"But I do love you Trish. I care about you a lot!" Nikki said sternly.

"Yea, but you're not in love with me, are you?" she asked, looking back into Nikki's eyes.

Nikki remained quiet for the moment. She looked at Trisha and realised just how terrible she had treated her these passing months. She felt guilty, and the sadness she felt was portrayed in her eyes as they silently begged for her to understand.

"I'm so sorry Trish, I never meant to hurt you," Nikki began. "You must understand though, that it's not you, it's me." Nikki paused when she heard Trisha laugh sadly at her words. "I know, it's a cliché, but it's the truth. You're a wonderful person Trish. And I do love you. It's just…Yes, I'm in love with Helen."

Silence hung in the air once again as they both sat, swinging mindlessly on their respective swings.

"You don't have to be sorry," Trisha finally said as she stood and faced Nikki, placing a hand to her cheek. "You can't help who you love. I should know. Just make sure she knows how you feel Nikki, and don't let her get away."

Nikki stood and embrace her, thankful that they weren't parting on bad terms.

"Thank you Trisha," Nikki replied, pulling back to look at her now former lover. "Although I think she's already run a mile, and now I've ruined our friendship as well," she smiled sadly.

"If you look close enough, you'll see that her feelings aren't much different from yours," Trisha responded. "Trust me Nikki, she loves you. Now stop wasting your time here with me. Go and get her before it's too late."

Nikki smile lovingly at her before stepping away in the direction she came. "I do love you, you know?" Nikki stated.

"I know, I love you too. Now go," Trisha replied. She watched Nikki leave the park before she let her tears fall.

Nikki arrived home soon after her talk with Trisha to find Helen with her back to her, standing in the kitchen, looking out the window. She saw her back stiffen and her head drop when she realised she was home. It was at that moment when Nikki decided that she would not put any pressure on Helen regarding her feelings. As far as Nikki was concerned, she had admitted how she felt, and if Helen did not feel the same way, then so be it. And if she did, it was up to Helen to make the next move.

"Let's not argue," Nikki said gently as she approached Helen from behind. "It's not in my nature, especially with you. It really takes it out of me, you know?"

She saw Helen nod before turning around to look her in the eyes. "Ok," she sighed.

"I'm so sorry Helen," Nikki stated with much remorse.

"Me too Nikki," Helen replied, equally upset.

They both walked towards each other for a warm embrace. They held each other for some time, neither wanting to let go. Nikki felt hot tears on her skin as Helen pulled herself closer and snuggled into her neck. She reached up to caress her hair as she kissed the top of her head.

"Please don't cry Helen," Nikki pleaded as tears began to spill from her own eyes. "I just want you to be happy, honestly. Please, go to Paris with Thomas, if it's what you want."

Helen pulled her head up to look Nikki in the eyes. Without thinking, she reached up to wipe Nikki's tears, before gently caressing the side of her face.

"I need time Nikki," Helen replied. "I don't know what I want at the moment. I just…I need to get my head around a few things, ok?"

"Ok Helen. Take as long as you need," Nikki replied. She gently brushed a stray hair behind Helen's ear, before kissing her forehead and disentangling herself from Helen's embrace.

"I'm going to take a walk, ok? I won't be long."

Helen nodded in response and watched as Nikki left the house. She wasn't sure if she had said the right thing to Nikki. All her life she had been waiting for someone who loved her, and who she loved back. Someone who made her happy, and made her smile. Someone that she just clicked with. But she was looking for a man who made her feel this way. The fact that a women could make her feel the way she was feeling made her somewhat uneasy. When she thought about what had happened to her mother, she knew that it had become a choice between her family and friends, and Nikki.

She walked into the lounge intending to find some nice relaxing music to listen to while she made such a life altering decision, when she heard the sound of screeching tires followed by a loud thud.

"Nikki!" Helen yelped as she ran through the front door and out onto the street. The sight before her made her physically sick as fresh tears sprung from her eyes and her body began to lose its will to move.

Nikki heard the loud thud of something being hit following the sound of tires screeching as she rounded the corner of her street. Her first thoughts had been of Helen, and she took off in a sprint to see what had happened. She came back around the corner and was faced with a small crowd of people surrounding the front of a car, not far from her home, one of them on a mobile phone.

"Helen!" she yelled, picking up her pace. She eventually arrived at the scene of the accident and made her way through the crowd. Although she felt a wave of nausea wash through her body, her initial reaction had been that of relief as she looked at the young man lying under the car.

After the shock of seeing someone so badly hurt, she moved away from the crowd and glanced across to her house only to see a very weak and sick looking Helen using the letterbox for support, before her legs finally gave way and she collapsed to the ground.

"No, Helen," Nikki whispered to herself worryingly before taking off again towards Helens unmoving body on the lawn of their home. When she reached her, she knelt down beside her and gently cupped her face in her hands.

"Helen? Helen can you hear me?" she asked, lightly tapping the side of her face to wake her. "Helen, come on baby wake up!"

She was about to return to the house to call an ambulance when Helen began to come to.

"Oh thank god," Nikki sighed as she brushed the loose hairs away that had fallen over Helens face. "Helen? Can you hear me? Are you ok?"

"Nikki?" Helen replied groggily. "Oh Nikki… I thought you… What happened?"

Helen sat up slowly with the help of Nikki. She looked confused and unaware of her surroundings. She was obviously in no shape to walk, judging by the way she was visibly swaying as she sat on the front lawn.

"Come on, let's get you inside," Nikki insisted as she placed her arm around Helen's waist to support her, and began to guide her towards the house.

Helen gradually came back to reality as they walked up to the front door. They walked through the door and Nikki closed it behind them. She turned back around to face a very confused and very relieved Helen.

"Helen, are you ok?" Nikki asked, relieved that Helen was coming around and able to stand, if somewhat shakily, on her own again. "You had me worried for a minute there."

"I'm ok Nikki, I'm just… You're ok! I thought you were hurt. I thought it was you…" Helen began to cry as she moved forward and began to run her hands over Nikki, from her head, over her face, down to her shoulders and arms. It was as if she was making sure that it was really Nikki.

"Helen, it's ok, I'm here," Nikki said gently as she stilled Helen's hands and held them in her own. "I'm not going anywhere, ok?" she continued as she brought Helens hands to her lips and kissed them gently.

Helen could not look away from her. For the first time since they had met, she felt free to let her eyes roam over Nikki's features without feeling guilty or confused.

"I don't know what I would have done Nikki," Helen finally said. "I just couldn't live if anything ever happened to you."

Nikki felt both sadness and happiness wash through her body at Helen's words. She placed Helen's arms around her neck and pulled her in for a heartfelt hug as she tried to sooth Helen's distress.

"It's ok Helen. Nothing's going to happen to me," Nikki spoke gently. She held her tightly for some time, before trying to lighten the situation. "Hey, you can't get rid of me that easy," she continued jokingly as she pulled out of the embrace to look Helen in the eyes.

They stood there for several moments, searching each other's face for some sort of answers to their unasked questions. Nikki's heart fluttered as she watch Helen's eyes lovingly look to her lips, and to her eyes, then back to her lips. She brushed her hair back before caressing the side of her face. She was about to slowly move in to capture her lips when she felt Helens body give way.

"Wow there, come on. Let's get you up stairs and into bed," Nikki said.

She gently picked her up, Helens arms instinctively going around Nikki's neck. She carried her up the stairs and placed her on her own bed. She thought it was best to keep an eye on her tonight, and considering Helen only had a single bed, she figured her own King size bed would be better. She pulled the covers down in order to tuck Helen into bed.

"I won't be going to Paris," Helen finally said, watching as Nikki moved around the room, taking care of her. "I'm happy here Nikki, I don't know what I was thinking."

Nikki made her way over to Helen and sat on the bed beside her. "What about Thomas?" she asked.

"I don't need him…" Helen began, sitting up groggily on the bed, her eyes now level with Nikki's, "Not the way that I need you."

Nikki smiled as tears of happiness and disbelief formed in her eyes. Her smile was returned, as Helen was unable to hold in the delight she felt at seeing Nikki so happy. They embraced once again, this time knowing that as long as they were in each other's lives, everything would work out.

"Will you hold me Nikki?" Helen asked as they separated.

Nikki looked confused at first, until it dawned on her what Helen meant.

"Of course I will," Nikki replied. She then tucked Helen in under the covers and made her way to the other side of the bed. "Do you mind though, if I just slip into some shorts and a shirt?"

"Of course not. In fact, this jumper and pants aren't the most comfortable either," Helen stated as she slipped them off under the covers and relaxed back on the pillow in time to see Nikki slipping in the bed beside her.

Helen rolled onto her side with her back to Nikki, pulling Nikki's arm over her as she did. She felt Nikki's other arm slide behind the pillows, pulling her to her chest, and could not remember ever feeling so safe and comfortable with anyone else.

"You comfy?" Nikki whispered, loving the way Helen felt in her arms, and the way she smelt as she snuggled as close to her back as possible.

"Mm," Helen replied, slipping her hand into Nikki's as she began to drift into a peaceful slumber. Nikki drifted into unconsciousness shortly after.

Nikki awoke the following morning with the smell of bacon invading her nostrils. She took her time to stretch before getting dressed and making her way to the kitchen. She stood in the kitchen doorway, watching Helen with her back to her, cooking away. It never ceased to amaze her how one day she could claim that she couldn't love a person any more than she did Helen, and then the next day, she loved her more. It was painful for her to think that Helen may never return her feelings, but as she stood there she realised…At least she was lucky enough to have her stay in her life.

"G'morning sleepy head," Helen teased, finally noticing Nikki's presence and disturbing her train of thought.

"Morning. What time is it anyway?" Nikki asked making her way to the fridge for an orange juice.

"It's just gone 10. I thought you could do with a sleep in," Helen replied.

"10?" Nikki gasped, "I'm supposed to be on at the bookstore today. Didn't I set my alarm?" Nikki drank her orange juice quickly before beginning to rush to get ready.

"Nikki, it's ok," Helen said facing her and slowing her down. "I called Barbara this morning and asked her if she wouldn't mind looking after it for the day. I thought we could go out together later. A picnic or something?"

Nikki noticed the look of hope on Helen's face. She was thankful that she would be able to spend time with Helen today. And so the playful banter began.

"Well, I don't know Helen," Nikki replied in a serious tone, trying to hide the smile behind her lips from forming. "I do have a lot of paper work to do today. Although, if you're happy enough to agree to come in with me tomorrow to help me catch up, I suppose a picnic wouldn't be out of the question."

"You've got yourself a deal Miss Wade," Helen replied with a smile. "It's settled then. I have got just the one thing I have to take care of this morning, but I'm all yours for the afternoon," she finished before turning back to the frying pan.

Nikki wasn't sure if she should continue to send playful sexual innuendo like she had done before her confession of love to Helen, afraid that it might make her feel uncomfortable. But a comment like that couldn't just be left out in the open like that without having a little fun with it.

"Really? All mine?" Nikki teased placing the carton of orange juice in the fridge. "Well then, I'm looking forward to this afternoon. And I intend to take full advantage of…having you for the afternoon."

Nikki lent against the bench with a playful smile plastered on her face. She watched as Helens paused for a brief moment, before continuing to cook. Her silence suggested that indeed it was a mistake to think that things could go back to the way they were, until she saw Helen turn around with a similar smile upon her own face.

"Well, I hope to satisfy your every command Miss Wade," she teased, "I only hope I can live up to your expectations." She turned back to the stove top, inspecting her cooking. "Now, I hope you don't mind burnt bacon," she said placing food onto two plates. "Breakfast is served."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This Chapter is definitely only for Mature audiences. Rated M - sex scene.

**Chapter 8**

****After arranging a time to meet, and who would need to buy what for their picnic, they both left the house, going their separate ways. Nikki decided to go to the bookstore to sort out a few things while Helen ran her errands. Come 1 o'clock, Nikki had packed the necessary equipment into her car, and was waiting for Helen to return home. She was about to try her on her mobile, when she saw her car coming up the road, and pull into the driveway.

"Right on time. Are we good to go?" Nikki asked as Helen exited her car and walked towards her.

"Yes, I'm ready. Shall we?" Helen replied getting into the passenger's seat of Nikki's car. "Did you decide on a place to go? I thought about it, but I don't really know the area very well."

"I know the perfect place, and it's not too far from here," Nikki replied.

They drove comfortably in each other's presence, like they had so many times before their disagreement the day before. They chatted idly about this and that, and sang along to the stereo along the way. They pulled into a narrow road 20 minutes into the trip, Helen noticing that the place was deserted.

"What is this place? And why have I never been here before?" Helen asked as she took in the forest around her.

"It's a surprise. And not many people know about it. I used to come here a lot when I was a kid. Mind you, it'd take me so long to ride here, that I barely got any time to enjoy it," Nikki said.

Just as Nikki finished talking, they came to a dead end in the street.

"Right, on foot from here," Nikki stated as she began to get out of the car. "Come on, it's not far," Nikki laughed when she noticed Helen look at her as if she was joking.

"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm just concerned that you've brought me out here so that no one can hear me scream when you kill me and ditch my body," Helen replied jokingly as she too exited the car and went to the boot to retrieve their gear.

"Helen, my dear. Trust me. If I wanted to make you scream, I can think of a much better way than to kill you," Nikki replied putting on her back pack. "And, I think we'd both enjoy it a lot more too. Now, come on, this way."

Helen watched Nikki walk off towards a dirt track heading into the forest with a smile, before shutting the boot and following her with her own back pack secure to her shoulders.

"So, did you get all your errands done this morning?" Nikki asked, watching her feet as they hopped over small rocks.

"Er, yea. It's all sorted out," Helen replied. "And, was Barbara ok at the bookstore?"

"Yea, she's fine. I reckon she knows the place better than me half the time," Nikki joked. "Come on, keep up. It's just around this corner."

Nikki picked up her speed, disappearing from Helen's sight as she turned around the corner. Helen wasn't far behind and was in awe of the beauty she saw as she came out into the opening where Nikki was standing. They stood on a grassy bank and looked out over a small lake, surrounded by forest and sandy beach. Across the lake was a cliff, which had a small waterfall in its center.

"Wow!" was all Helen could manage, as she took in her surroundings.

Nikki looked over to Helen as she came out of the forest. She watched her as she took in the view, and felt glad that she had thought of this place to bring her. Her heart ached in that pleasurable way when she saw the faraway look of happiness cross over Helens features.

"Oh, Nikki, it's so beautiful," Helen said, watching the water as it fell into the lake from the cliffs above.

"Yes it is," Nikki replied mechanically, still watching Helen.

Helen looked over to Nikki, noticing the double meaning in her words. She was overwhelmed by the amount of love she saw in her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as they continued to gaze at each other, standing meters apart.

^And you are beautiful^ Helen thought. It wasn't until Nikki smiled that she realised she'd said the words out loud. "I mean, er…"

"It's ok Helen," Nikki replied, noticing that Helen looked uncomfortable. "Shall we eat?"

Helen nodded and began to empty her back pack. It wasn't long before they were all set up on a picnic blanket, each lying on one side, with the food and drinks between them. They were lying in comfortable silence, looking out at the lake, when Helen decided to bring up the inevitable conversation.

"I went to see Thomas this morning," Helen began, looking over to Nikki to see her reaction.

Nikki was in the process of eating when Helen spoke. Now, the food she had put in her mouth was refusing to go down past the lump that had just formed. "Oh?" she replied eventually, trying to act casual.

"I told him I was staying here with you and the bookstore. You were right about him Nikki."  
Nikki, however, was so distracted by her own thoughts, thinking that Helen had decided to go after all, that she didn't hear what Helen was saying.

"Nikki?" Helen said, reaching over to touch her arm, "did you hear me?"

Nikki looked over to Helen when she felt her hand on her arm. "What? Sorry, Helen, I was gone for a second there."

"Yea, I noticed," Helen said calmly. She began to think that she'd got the whole thing wrong. She noticed that Nikki had been distracted quite a lot today, and thought maybe she was regretting what she had said the night before. Maybe she was thinking about Trisha? Did she wish she was here with her instead?

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" Nikki asked again, this time giving Helen her full attention.

"I said you were right about Thomas," Helen said sadly.

"I'm sorry Helen," Nikki replied, placing her hand on top of Helens which was lying between them.

"So, how did you know? I'm guessing, well, is that why Trish wanted to talk to you?" Helen asked, avoiding Nikki's gaze by picking up her glass of wine.

"Um, yea, she overheard him talking to someone on the phone," Nikki replied, reluctant to talk.

There was a moment of silence as Helen worked up the courage to ask the question she had been thinking about all day.

"So, you and Trish…Did you sort everything out? I mean, last night…I never asked…" Helen cut her sentence short and looked up at Nikki questioningly.

"Yea, we sorting things out. We decided it wasn't working. We've decided to remain friends though," Nikki replied, looking out onto the lake, her heart beating wildly.

Helen let silence take over as she once again summoned up the courage to speak. "I woke up in your arms this morning, and I just stayed there, for over an hour, and watched you sleep," Helen finally spoke, her eyes never leaving Nikki's.

Nikki turned back to face Helen, seeing the vulnerability in her eyes. She loved this woman, more than she loved anything in her life. And here she was, in her own roundabout way, telling Nikki that her feelings were reciprocated. She knew she was scared, and it took all that Nikki had not to jump over the piles of food and hold her and kiss her. Instead, she waited for Helen to continue.

"You looked so beautiful Nikki, and so peaceful. I couldn't move, I couldn't leave, and…Nikki I…" Helen sighed and looked away, out onto the lake, letting her mind wonder back through her memories. "About 8 years ago, I met a girl called Claire. We were working together at a school that I did some charity work for. We became quite close. One day, out of the blue, she confessed that she had feelings for me," she paused, her face registering the obvious pain that the memory brought back. "And I turned my back on her. I turned my back on how I felt for her, because I knew deep down that there was something there, some sort of attraction. Poor Claire, when my father found out about what she had confessed, he…well, I suppose you could say he did what he did to my mother. I don't know how he found out. And I was so scared that if he knew what I was feeling, he'd kick me out as well."

Helen sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees as tears flowed freely from her eyes.

"From then on, I tried to ignore it. Ignore the fact that I was attracted to a women. I was even engaged at one point," Helen grimaced, letting a small laugh escape as she wiped away her tears.

She turned to face Nikki, finding her also with tears in her eyes.

"This morning, when I woke up in your arms…I just…I don't know how to deal with everything right now. I don't know what's going on in my head. But I know, that in my heart, it's you that I want to be with. It's you that I can't be away from, and that I can't live without. For a long time, I've known that there was something special between us. The first time I saw you, I felt a connection," Helen paused, trying to find the right words to express the way she felt. "Am I making any sense here Nikki?"

Nikki nodded. She stood up and walked to sit behind Helen, their eyes remaining locked together. She let her legs lay beside Helen, and embraced her from behind. She felt Helens hands grip her own and tighten them around her waist. They sat for some time, Nikki with her chin upon Helens shoulder nuzzled into her neck, both enjoying their new closeness.

It wasn't until the sun began to disappear behind the cliff that they realised just how long they had spent by the lake.

"We should probably head off soon," Nikki whispered into Helens ear, before kissing it gently.

All Helen could do was moan in response as her flesh was overtaken by a surge of goose bumps. She instinctively pushed her back into Nikki's body, craving for more attention. Nikki did not hesitate to give it.

"That is, unless you'd like to stay a little bit longer" Nikki whispered.

She pulled Helen's hair away from her neck and began planting kisses along it, encouraged by the sighs and moans coming from her. Her hands went on auto pilot as they began to caress Helen's waist. She slipped her hands under her shirt, loving the feel of her smooth flesh.

"Oh Nikki…" Helen sighed as she turned her head to face her.

She looked into her lust filled eyes and could not hold back any longer. She had never wanted any one this much, and her body was not about to let her mind talk her out of what she needed right at that moment.

"Kiss me Nikki," she moaned, licking her lips.

Nikki responded by capturing her lips. It was the most loving and erotic kiss that either of them had ever encountered. Helen felt her whole body react to the way Nikki was making her feel. One region in particular was throbbing impatiently in a way that she had never experienced before in her life. All this from one kiss made her wonder what it would be like to go further, and why she had denied her feelings for this long.

Nikki was finding it hard to breathe. She had dreamt of this moment so many times before, yet none of her dreams even compared to the way she felt at this moment. Her entire body was screaming to be touched. Her emotions were in over drive, and she was caught between the need to cry and the need to scream. She was desperate to show Helen just how much she loved her.

Helen turned her body around and pushed Nikki onto the ground, lying herself on top of her, needing to feel more of her body against hers. She felt Nikki's hands wrap around her body, holding her closer still. She ran her hand through her short hair, letting it slip through her fingers, all the while kissing her with a want, a need, she had never felt before.

Nikki felt Helens thigh between her legs, subconsciously applying pressure to the place she wanted it most. She ran her hands up Helens sides, brushing her thumbs against two hard nipple that were piercing their way through her clothing. Helen began to rock her body on top of her. She couldn't help but groan at the friction it created. Then, all of a sudden, Helen stopped, and looked down at her.

"Helen? What's the matter sweetheart?" Nikki asked, slightly out of breath, and with obvious concern at the worried look on Helens face.

"Nothing, it's just…" Helen began, not knowing how to voice her concerns.

"Tell me baby, what's the matter?" Nikki asked again, lifting her hand up to caress her face.

"I've never felt like this before Nikki. I've never wanted someone this much… to want this," she said gesturing to their current position, "so much."

"I'm sorry baby," Nikki replied, "We are moving too fast aren't we."

"Well, it's not that exactly," Helen replied, dipping her head looking nervous all of a sudden.

"Well, then, what is it?" Nikki asked gently. "Helen, I know you've never been with a women before. I promise, I'm not going to rush you, ok sweetheart?"

Helen looked back at Nikki and saw the sincerity in her eyes. "I'm a virgin Nikki. I've never been with anyone before."

"Oh," was all Nikki could say. As much as she tried to hide it, she couldn't keep the look of shock from her face. Helen saw this look, and suddenly felt scared.

"You know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Helen stated as she began to lift herself up off Nikki. Nikki, however, was having none of it, and pulled her gently back down, holding her there as she spoke.

"I'm sorry Helen, it was just the initial shock," Nikki reassured her. "It's just, you're so beautiful, and gorgeous, and wonderful, and just…amazing, in so many ways. Please, it's not a bad thing. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm sorry if my reaction made you think it was."

Helen relaxed again in her arms, enjoying the safety and comfort she felt by being in them. She lay her head on Nikki's shoulder and began to kiss her neck. It began innocently, a gesture of love, but she felt again that urge to feel more of her. She sat up slightly and took in their surroundings, not wanting to give into her desire just yet.

"Maybe we should head home," Helen sighed.

"Yea, it's getting late," Nikki replied. "Come on, we'll finish this at home," she continued with a wink and a grin in Helens direction.

"Oh really? You seem pretty sure of yourself," Helen replied playfully as they began to pack away their belongings.

"Trust me darling," Nikki retorted, "you won't be able to resist. That! I'm sure of," she finished with a wicked, playful smile.

They continued to pack up their belongings before heading back to the car. They continued their playful banter and intimate promises until they arrived safely home.

"So…" Nikki sighed as they walked in the front door, dumping their bags in the hall.

"So…" Helen replied with a smirk.

"Drink?" Nikki asked as she walked off towards the kitchen.

Helen followed her into the kitchen and held her waist as she reached up to grab a glass.

"Drink? Is that what you're offering?" Helen teased. "What about all those promises you made to me on the way home?"

"Well er…I just thought…." Nikki began, turning to face Helen.

"Relax Nikki, I'm just teasing," Helen replied. She slipped her arms around Nikki's neck and held her, placing her head under her chin. "If it's a drink you want, who am I to stop you."

"Well, a drink isn't really high on my priority list at the moment," Nikki confessed as she held Helen close to her. "I just thought you might want to wait, and…well… I didn't want to get too carried away."

"Nikki," Helen sighed pulling away as she brushed her fingers through the back of Nikki's hair. "I've waiting my whole life to find someone like you. I've done my waiting."

Nikki couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face. Tears of happiness sprang into her eyes from hearing Helens words. "We'll take it slow."

"Yea, dead slow," Helen replied with a smile of her own.

Helen pulled Nikki down and captured her lips gently. She wanted to show Nikki how much love she held for her, but it just wasn't enough. She needed to feel more of her.

"Nikki?" Helen sighed between kisses.

"Yea?" Nikki replied with laboured breath.

"Can we go to bed now?"

Nikki smiled into the kiss before pulling away. She bent down and picked Helen up, wrapping her legs around her waist so that Helen was straddling her as they headed towards the bedroom.

"Your room or mine?" Nikki asked as she hungrily kissed her way around Helens neck.

"Yours is closer," Helen sighed in reply before grabbing Nikki's head and smashing her lips on hers.

They eventually made it to the bedroom, after a few fumbles up the stairs. Nikki fell on top of Helen onto the bed and began kissing her once more. Her hands were quickly removing her blouse as her mouth travelled down to her chest. She sat up suddenly, and looked Helen in the eyes.

"Nikki?" Helen panted, confused by Nikki's abrupt stop.

"You're so beautiful!" was all Nikki said before continuing to remove Helens blouse and kissing her passionately once more. She felt Helen tugging at her own shirt before pulling it quickly over her head. Once Helens blouse was off, Nikki left a trail of kisses down her body as her hands worked to remove her pants. Undoing the zipper, she slipped them off with her panties and threw them to the side of the bed.

"Nikki?" Helen groaned.

"Mmm," was Nikki's reply as she kissed her way up her thighs, past her stomach, to devour her throat once more.

"You have too many clothes on," Helen replied mischievously.

Nikki gave Helen a wicked grin before standing up at the end of the bed and removing the rest of her clothes, while Helen removed her bra. Nikki stood there for a moment, letting her eyes roam over Helens body, her legs slightly open in invitation.

Nikki crawled back up the bed, lying on top of her, feeling their naked bodies touch for the first time. She brought her hand up to massage her breasts, rolling her nipple between her fingers. Her body was on fire, listening to the moans and groans coming from her lover, encouraging her all the way. She eagerly made her way down to Helens unattended breast, capturing her nipple between her teeth gently before teasing it with her tongue.

Helen felt like she could burst, her body was so turned on. Every touch sent a wave of pleasure through her entire body, particularly the region between her legs. She held Nikki's head to her as she licked and sucked her nipples, giving each one the attention they needed, before continuing her journey south.

"Oh Nikki, please," Helen managed to sigh. Nikki needed no further invitation as she placed herself between Helens legs and held onto her hips.

Helen could feel Nikki's warm breathe on her center as she teased her, making the moment last as long as she could. She felt her tongue dart out and run up the length of her slit, before it vanished once again. Soft lips found her lips and gently caressed it. She tried to lift herself to increase the pressure, but Nikki was holding her firmly in place. She'd never felt such agony and such pleasure in all her being.

"Nikki, please. I need…." Helen groaned as she felt Nikki's tongue once again gently run along her slit, applying nowhere near the amount of pressure she needed.

Then, all of a sudden, she felt Nikki's tongue licking the juices from her entrance before her lips eagerly captured her swollen clit. She groaned loudly with pleasure as she gripped onto Nikki's head and held her in place. Just when she thought it could not feel any better, she felt Nikki's finger slide deep inside her. Within an instant, her orgasm was threatening to take over her body.

"Yes, Nikki, please, don't stop…." she screamed before she climaxed to a place out of this world.

She felt herself lift off the bed as the walls began to move around her. Tears of pleasure escaped her eyes, blurring her vision. She closed her eyes and let the final waves of her orgasm wash through her body. When she finally opened her eyes, she was greeted with two warm brown eyes gazing down at her.

"That…was amazing," Helen sighed, pulling Nikki down on top of her for another kiss.

Nikki rolled onto her back, bringing Helen with her to lay on her shoulder. She looked at her as she gently stroked her hair. "Do you know how long I've waited to do that?"

Helen smiled in response before leaning up to kiss her lips. "Do you know how long I've waited?" she replied with a cheeky grin.

"Ok, point taken," Nikki replied as her eyes roamed Helens face, taking it all in to memory.

"I love you Helen," she confessed, now looking directly into her eyes.

"I love you too Nikki," Helen replied. She rolled herself so that she was straddling Nikki's hips, keeping their bodies as close as possible. "I'd like to show you just how much I love you Miss Wade," she said cheekily.

"Well then," Nikki replied, running her hands over her back, "I'm all yours."

Helen smiled lovingly at the women she adored, before kissing her way down her lovers body. They made love until the early morning, when they fell asleep in each other's arms.


	9. Chapter 9

**Final Chapter**

**Chapter 9**

Nikki awoke the following morning to see the sun beginning to shine through a crack in the curtain. Helen was lying half of her body over her own, pinning her to the bed. She gazed down at her sleeping form, gently brushing her hair out of her face.

"I love you so much, you have no idea," Nikki whispered to Helen in her sleep.

"Oh, I think I have a fair idea, if last night was anything to go by," Helen purred in return, pulling herself closer to Nikki.

"Hey, I thought you were asleep cheeky," Nikki replied pulling Helen to lie on top of her.

"How can I sleep with your sexy, naked body right next to me?" Helen asked.

Nikki smiled in return. They were both staring at each other, with the biggest smiles on their faces.

"I must say Helen, I love this wild, open side of you," Nikki replied.

"You love the open side of me hey?" Helen queried lifting her eyebrows.

"Hmm, see, this is what I mean," Nikki replied. "This is the happiest I've ever been Helen."

"Me too Nikki. I was stupid to think that I could fight these feelings. They're too strong," Helen sighed. She relaxed her body on to Nikki, and they held each other.

"We should get up soon, unfortunately. You promised to help me with the books today, remember?" Nikki finally spoke.

"That's right, I did too. Not that I'm complaining. It means I get to spend the whole day with you," Helen replied as she popped her head up on her hand, and let the other rest on her lover's stomach.

"A whole day, alone, in that little back office," Nikki replied, running her hand over Helens body. "I don't think we'll be getting much work done at all, come to think of it."

"You're going to have to keep your hormones under control Nikki," Helen said smiling, before leaning in to kiss her. "Now come on. Up we hop or we're going to be late."

An hour later, they were leaving the house and on their way to work. While walking the short distance, they held hands and talked comfortably with each other. Intimate promises were shared, and neither of them were able to remove the giddy smiles they had. That is, until they rounded the corner, and saw smoke coming from the top of Dawns Haven.

"Oh no," Nikki sighed before dropping Helens hand and running towards the bookstore. She heard the sound of sirens getting closer as she came to a stop in front of the building, standing amongst a few of her early regulars.

"What happened? How did it start? Where is it coming from?" Nikki pleaded as she took in the scene before her.

"Oh Nikki, I'm so sorry dear," replied an elderly lady who stood beside her. "I've only just arrived, but it has grown in the last couple of minutes. But it looks like it's only the top apartment that's on fire at the moment. I hope the fire fighters can contain it."

Nikki had sunk to the ground onto her knees, trying to control the small tears that threatened to escape. She watched as the fire brigade went to work, praying that the damage was minimal, and that they will be able to restore the bookstore.

She accepted the comfort Helen was offering as she embraced her from behind. Taking a deep breathe, she relaxed into her arms. As her own tears fell freely, she realised she was not the only person who was devastated by the fire. She felt Helens tears as they dropped onto her shoulders, and looked around to see the saddened faces of so many people who frequented the building in front of her.

They remained crouched on the ground, watching the flames being put out, until Helen heard a familiar voice call her.

"Helen?! What on earth….?"

Helen stood, turning to face the voice, followed closely by Nikki, and was shocked by who she found standing in front of her. His presence flooded her with an array of emotions, the biggest among those was fear. Fear of what he would do, and what he would say. Fear of how him being here would change things with Nikki, and of having to make a choice she had been dreading since the moment she realised just how deep her feelings for Nikki ran. All these thoughts went through her mind within mere seconds, before she responded.

"Dad?" she asked questioningly, taking hesitant steps towards him. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk some sense into you. This has gone on long enough. Now I think it's time you come home," he replied as he walked towards her, holding out his hand.

"What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere dad. How did you even know where to find me?" Helen asked, taking a quick step backwards into Nikki's arms, who was now equally concerned about Helen as she was about the fire.

"I told him," replied Thomas, stepping out of a nearby car to join the conversation. "I thought he should know what his daughter has been up to. I figured if I couldn't get you to understand that you were making the wrong decisions, maybe he could."

"Thomas, I told you it was over between us, which means you have no right interfering like this," Helen replied looking menacingly at him. "I know what you were up to."

"Helen, I don't know what you're talking about. I just don't want you to get sucked into the life of some no hoper, dyke like her," he replied, pointing to Nikki.

"Ok, I think you've said enough Thomas," John replied, noticing the look of anger flash across his daughters face. "Please, go back to your car. I'll sort this out myself."

"Sort what out?" Helen asked, watching Thomas retreat back to the car. "Look, this day has enough dramas, in case you haven't noticed," she continued, gesturing to the burning building behind them. "And, now that I think about it, it wouldn't surprise me if Thomas was the cause of that as well. Now if you don't mind, we have more important things to attend to."

"So it's true then," John stated. "You turned out just like her."

"If you mean like my mother, then yes," she replied.

"No Helen, I'm sorry, I can't let this go on," he replied, grabbing her by the arm in an attempt to physically drag her to the car. "You're coming with me. I can help you."

"Get your hands off her," Nikki said angrily, placing herself between them.

Helen was struggling to free herself from her father's grip. She had never seen her father get so aggressive, and was shocked by the way he was manhandling her. She watched as her father lifted his hand and back handed Nikki across the face. Nikki responded as though it was nothing, punching him square in the nose, sending him to the ground.

"Bastard! Damn that hurt," Nikki winced holding her hand. She waited until she was sure that her father was not going to respond, before turning to comfort Helen, leaving him sitting on the ground in shock wiping the blood from his nose.

"I think you should leave dad," Helen suggested as she inspected Nikki for injuries. She turned to stand over him before she continued, "you obviously can't accept that this is what I want. And you know what? You've just made my life so much easier. I was so scared that I was going to have to choose between you and Nikki. But you've just made that choice for me. Good bye dad."

Helen turned to embrace Nikki, before they went to find out what was happening with the fire. They stood with arms around each other as the last of the flames were put out.

_Two months later _

__Nikki and Helen were just finishing the second coat of paint on the upstairs apartment of Dawns Haven.

"I'm so glad the fire only took out the apartment," Helen sighed, putting the finishing touch on her side of the wall. "Can you imagine painting the entire place? Let alone having to rebuild."

"I know. We were lucky. And none of the books were damaged, which to me would have been worse," Nikki replied stepping off her ladder and walking to stand behind Helen, looking at her work. "You missed a spot."

"Where?" Helen asked, searching.

"There," Nikki replied painting her nose with her brush before running away laughing.

"Oh, you little…." Helen gasped in mock anger, making chase. "I'll get you for that Miss Wade."

"You have to catch me first," Nikki teased from the other side of the table which held the remainder of the paint.

Helen looked at the paint tins between Nikki and herself and smile.

"Don't even…" Nikki began to say, but before she could finish, Helen picked up the almost empty paint tin and tossing it all over Nikki's front.

"Ahh, oh you are sooo dead!" Nikki warned before running around the table to Helen, who was laughing so hard she couldn't run.

Nikki picked Helen up into a bear hug, effectively covering Helen with paint, before they both went stumbling to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"I love you. You know that?" Nikki sighed as their laughter subsided.

"Hmm, I think I remember you telling me that once," Helen replied teasingly from under Nikki's body. "I love you too sweet heart."

THE END


End file.
